Your Collective - Mind, Body & Spiritual Balance
Your Collective is a space where we explore the ways in which we can calm and quiet the mind, so that we can tune into and listen to our bodies and ultimately listen to the whisper of what our soul desires. How do we connect the trifecta so that they can work together in harmony and unity?
Your Collective - Mind, Body & Spiritual Balance
Exploring Family Dynamics in the Age of Gender Shifts
How do societal shifts and movements like Me Too and men's rights activism shape our understanding of gender roles today? Join me, Sherisse Alexander, as I sit down with my son, Anthony Hume, to share his unique perspective growing up in a balanced yet male-dominant household. Anthony opens up about how this upbringing informed his progressive views on gender roles and the significant conversations we've had about the red pill movement, which he introduced to me three years ago. As a mother of three sons, understanding these movements is crucial, and this episode aims to bridge generational perspectives on these timely issues.
We dive into the origins of the red pill movement, its association with men's rights activism, and its appeal to young men seeking guidance. Anthony and I critically examine the movement’s radicalizing effects and discuss how societal shifts towards female dominance and inclusivity impact freedom of speech and safe spaces. Reflecting on personal experiences and family dynamics, we underscore the need to understand the male perspective and foster balanced discussions on gender roles and societal expectations. These moments of reflection reveal the complexities and nuances of navigating modern relationships and communication.
In the later segments, we tackle the dynamics of communication between men and women, the significance of critical emotional thinking, and the transformative power of self-reflection. From exploring spirituality and beliefs to examining the toxicity of online environments, this episode is a rich tapestry of personal anecdotes and practical advice. Whether you're a parent, educator, or simply interested in societal shifts, this engaging conversation offers a comprehensive exploration of gender issues, aiming to foster mutual understanding and respect in our ever-evolving social landscape. Don't miss out on this enlightening discussion!
Good afternoon, good evening and good night, wherever you might be when you're listening to this. My name is Sherisse Alexander, your host of your Collective, and on today's episode I have my son, An anthony Hume, and what we'll be chatting about is really a lot about the different roles between males and females, but from a young perspective, Anthony is the last guest in my mini men's series, so, without further ado, let's dive in. Thank you everyone for joining today and thank you Anthony for joining today on your collective. For those of you who do not know, Anthony is my son and we have some really great conversations and debates in our family, and Anthony and I have had some really interesting conversations and debates, so I'm going to give you a little bit of color and a little bit of context. Well, actually, I won't quite give you color and context yet, but I will welcome Anthony to your collective. So welcome Anthony.
Anthony Hume:Thank you for having me?
Sherisse Alexander:Yes, it's a pleasure to have you here. So for the audience, why don't you give them a little bit of an intro about yourself, who you are, what you're about, what you do, etc.
Anthony Hume:Sure, I'm Anthony, just your classic young man, I guess, trying to make me a crazy problem from post-secondary institution. Uh, as sharice, where my mom said I don't know where we're going to call her sharice today. Uh, as she said, uh yeah I'm young.
Anthony Hume:I'm the the youngest person if you've listened to this whole um men series, as she's calling it. I'm the youngest person that you've listened to this whole um men series, as she's calling it. I'm the youngest person that you're going to hear by far. Uh played football, so that's probably going to color a lot of my experiences. And uh, part of me currently living in yellowknife up in canada if you're not familiar with where, that is very, very, very far north when people think Canada and think we live in igloos, darn close up here, living on Chief Drahi's territory, treaty 8 territory. And yeah, I'm a teacher by trade and by practice. That's what I do trying to make ends meet in a world that doesn't really want me to do that. I don't know what else I'm supposed to say. Ends meet in a world that doesn't really want me to do that. I don't know what else I'm supposed to say. But that's really who I am. Without getting too much more personal. That's very surface level. I'm much more, but that's all you get.
Sherisse Alexander:Well, we'll see about that young one no-transcript as a mom, but I've never. You're the first child of mine to be here, so I'm curious what it was like growing up for you in our household and how do you feel like that might have colored your view on male and female roles in the household.
Anthony Hume:I feel like I'm a pretty progressive person when it comes to my view on male female roles. My upbringing was pretty balanced, I would say overall, like not very traditional. Both my parents cooked, cleaned, did errands, changed diapers, took care of kids, took people to soccer practice, like you know, all these traditional things. I would say, uh, we're kind of shared roles in my upbringing. Um, so that's probably the biggest one. However, um, uh, I also come from my, our family, male dominant. There's only, out of the six of us and including pet parents and kids, only two girls in that mix.
Anthony Hume:So very masculine environment. All four of us or three of us boys, I should say played football. Both my parents either coached or were a part of the team at a administrative level growing up at some point. All four of us played. So, yeah, very masculine sort of environment. Uh, not saying that's positive or negative, is what it was for. That idea of kind of always pushing, always grinding, always trying to be better was very much breed and bred uh and uh, reinforced, I'd say, on a daily basis. Uh, quite literally. Uh, a common phrase in our house, growing up on a daily basis. You'd hear on the way going out to school or wherever you're going was to be great. So that was something that I think still very much impacts the way I view the world today and probably how I view people and interactions, etc.
Sherisse Alexander:Be great. So you're right, that was one of the things that would be said was be great. Actually, I don't I'm not going to dive into that because I mean that could be some would say a positive or a negative connotation, because it lines up an expectation in a youthful mind of being perfect, and there is. There is no such thing as perfect. The imperfection is the perfection, as I like to sometimes say. But we're going to pivot for a moment because you know what, really, when I was thinking about what I wanted you to share I'm going to give a little bit of context here you and I were having a conversation it was definitely during COVID, it was about three years ago and you were trying to tell me something.
Sherisse Alexander:It was that Airbnb that I'd rented, that was in Edmonton, it was right by Ainley, and we were sitting in the dining room and you started talking about men's rights and I remember looking at you and being like child, ain't nobody want to hear no shit about men's rights? And you looked at me and I've recounted this story to a few people. But you'd looked at me and cause, you were talking about Abbott and Preach and red pill movement and so on and so forth and you were talking about how important it was, as a woman, to be mindful that this is a movement that has traction and is gaining more momentum, and so I'd never heard of the red pill movement at this point in my life and uh, and this is what actually made me go and look for Abbott and preach but you'd said you are a mother of three sons and you don't care about the things that are important to me, and it was like a mic drop.
Anthony Hume:I would stand by that.
Sherisse Alexander:Still yeah, and so because of who I like to show up as as a parent, I did go look and I didn't go deep into Red Pill. I just went and checked out Abbott and Preach and I actually really enjoyed their YouTube channel because it's very relatable. They're extremely commonsensical. It's very relatable, they're extremely commonsensical. There was absolutely nothing that these guys were talking about that I didn't think was reasonable by any stretch of the imagination. So much so, anthony, that it really planted a seed in my mind of I kind of feel bad for men. To be honest with you, it's a confusing world right now and we can dive more into what my thoughts and feelings are before people take that statement really out of context. But I'll dive into more of that later. But for those of the people who are listening today who don't know, can you please elaborate on what exactly the red pill movement is? What is it about, from your understanding, for sure?
Anthony Hume:A few things before we dive into this Number one shameless plug to Avan Breach, as you said. Granted, I guess I haven't really seen their stuff lately, so maybe I shouldn't shameless plug this. We can maybe cut this in post, but yeah, twoadian black creators they're hilarious.
Anthony Hume:I'm sorry, I gotta say their content is so entertaining they are they are and it's real it's very real and and and and, as we're want to do, you and I. I'm going to try not to veer too far off into a tangent, but you mentioned how you know you used it to kind of gain some insight into maybe how the male perspective. I feel similarly and I've told this to you as well, as a youth of the younger generation, I have felt times where it's helped me see the perspective of the older generation, the agent Xers, you would you know. So, like people who are you and my father's age, especially that older male perspective, cause I just oftentimes I'd be shaking my head, going like what is this dude on about? Like what is it? Where's this guy coming from? But then you know the way that they explain some things anyways. So if you haven't checked them out, I would recommend.
Anthony Hume:Still the second caveat I'm not a red pill guy, would never, ever claim to be a red pill guy. So at that time in COVID, I believe and I would still stand by this, I believe what I was trying to say at that time when I was like red pill, this red pill that was like, as you just said, is that it's this movement that is gaining traction. And what I said then and would still stand by today, is that that is like a frightening thing to me. And what I said then and would still stand by today, is that that is like a frightening thing to me. Basically, the red pill movement, this idea of it, goes back to the like matrix. You know what I mean, like. So if you maybe mom wants to go crazy on editing and put that scene in post right now of like when, or like the audio from when Neo meets Morpheus and Morpheus is like hey, you want to stay in fairytale land or do you want to see the truth? And the truth is the red pill. And staying in fairytale land where everything, where it's just like you know, you just got the blinders on, you're a quote-unquote sheep is the blue pill, and so that, I think, is where the movement gets its name from.
Anthony Hume:But if effectively, yes, these guys who are reporting to support men's rights in a world that is becoming increasingly more, how would I say this Female dominant, which is good and feminine in terms of how our government structures are run, how societally, how we're moving towards in terms of like with things like me too, and um, like the lgbt movement and, like you know, caring about how we say and what we say and you know, in these spaces and kind of having these safe spaces very much flies in the face of that. Um, I mostly disagree with a lot of the red pill people because I think it veers so hard from like critique of, you know, some areas where we may have gone too far, cause I think a lot of these recent movements like I said, me too, fighting for equality, for LGBT folks, those I think are good things. But then there are some things you know, for example, like limitations on free freedom of speech, some of these rules and applications of safe spaces, that kind of stuff that some people there's valid critiques of things going too far more sensational, that you make things. The bigger you make things, the bigger the story, the more views and thus the more money I get.
Anthony Hume:And I think that those people have really focused in on a group of vulnerable young men who perhaps don't have the best role models in their real day-to-day lives. So they're reaching're reaching, they're searching, they're hungry for that masculine you know that, that word, that influence, you know that that, um, knowledge to be passed down. But they don't. Maybe they might not have that in their own lives. Maybe they come from a single mother household, maybe, uh, you know, they have a abusive or neglectful or an absentee father figure. You know what I mean? Who knows the reason why? But, um, my theory is that these toxic red people really focus and prey upon that super, super vulnerable young male demographic and I think that, if and when they are radicalized, that that they can be some very scary and dangerous people in society, as we've seen.
Sherisse Alexander:Sorry for the tangent and rant, but know you summarized it fairly well, and if you don't know, if you want to learn, if you want to learn more, just to understand, you can Google it. And I mean the summary you gave is pretty well exactly what I saw as well, that the premise was built upon the idea of exactly that the matrix you know take the red pill, the truth shall be revealed. Take the blue pill and you can continue in your very simulated world of not knowing or understanding. So you know, interestingly enough, when you and I'd had this conversation, I'm curious if your thoughts and feelings are still the same then as they are today. And where I'm going with this is when you were talking about men's rights. What were you really saying for yourself when you pose that question of like, well, don't you care about what's important to me? So what would prompt you to ask that question about men's rights? What did you feel like I, as your mother, was not hearing you say at that point in time?
Anthony Hume:I feel like it's just that, exactly. And I feel like, again, everything's anecdotal when we're talking, right, but, like you know, we all live kind of within our own echo chambers, so everything comes out still with a grain of salt. But I guess, to answer your question, what you just said, which is like what was I looking for when I said that? I think, just to be heard. I feel like what I meant by that is that, like I'm a big discourse guy. I don't really care, you know what side you fall on in most things, but I'm here for discourse, I'm here for sharing ideas, um, for learning. That's really what I'm here for, like I'm like, like I said, I am a teacher, you know, so I'm for learning, and you can't really learn without making mistakes, without being wrong, without hearing something that may challenge you mentally.
Anthony Hume:And so I think at that time in COVID, the worst time, I was feeling a lot of things, but especially in the online sphere, I was feeling very and from time this goes far back, even before COVID, you know like, I think, for a very long time, as, um, feminism has empowered women and, uh, online spaces and societies become more inclusive to women and, um, different people, you know, becoming less male dominated. Um, people don't want to hear from men as much, which is like understandable, valid and fair, um, but I think that there's a danger that comes when we kind of almost silence a group of people or, um, yeah, just don't want to hear their opinions and takes. Like you know, I don't want to hear what you have to say. You've kind of spoken enough and for someone like me who's in their twenties, I'm like motherfucker, I've barely spoken. What do you mean? I haven't spoken enough. Like I just got here.
Sherisse Alexander:You did just get here, at least at that point. I mean, you're a young adult and I can appreciate that, and that's why when you said you have three sons and you don't care about what's important to us, I mean that was extremely such a powerful statement in that moment when you said it. And I think out of what you just said there, the most important thing and what I was saying when I was like listen, ain't nobody trying to hear about no men's rights right now, it's a little bit in line with what you're saying, and I think really what I was trying to get at is like the feminist movement is still so young. You know it's been a patriarchal environment for a very long time and parts of Europe it's only a small fraction of the globe that gets to enjoy that experience. You just need to get on a plane and travel to any country that is outside of North America or Europe and you will see a very, very different experience for women, and I think that that's where the shift is coming from. And I mean, of course, change is one of those things that has to be managed. Change is scary for people, but really all that I was trying to say is the world is changing and right now we're in this transition where, you know, right, wrong or otherwise, I think there's always a way that we can say something, myself included, so that it'll be well received from the other person or well received by the receiving party. And what I was trying to say to you is exactly that the world is changing. It has been a patriarchal society for a very, very long time, and women are just there. They're doing the things that bring them peace, fulfillment and joy.
Sherisse Alexander:Because, speaking as a woman pardon me, who has I think I'm a really good. You know, here's the terminology from red pill movement or trad wives or whatever the case may be. I grew up in a household where I watched traditional roles and it worked. You know, there were pink jobs and there were blue jobs, and my mom did very clearly pink jobs and my dad did clearly blue jobs. And the reality is is that everybody seemed happy, and my parents have been married for 47 years this year, so, and they are happy, my parents are disgustingly in love, I dare say.
Sherisse Alexander:But the point is is I absolutely walked into my adult years thinking that's exactly what I'm going to do. I'm going to. I want that because it worked. I had a beautiful example of how these traditional roles worked, but in practicality it didn't work, at least not in the relationship that I was in. So I think this is where we start to question whether or not these traditional roles really actually can provide that partnership that you're looking for, because that's really what we're talking about here. When we talk about trad wives and red pill movements and things like that, men are feeling like and that's why I love Abbott and preach because the things that some of these women are saying on these shows uh make me cringe, um, but in any event, um. So for you then, sorry, they're they need to touch grass.
Anthony Hume:I said they.
Sherisse Alexander:I said I said they. I said they're 100, they're, they're living in the delulu as absolutely. I mean, it's like I heard one of these, one of these ladies on. It was on aberrant preach. You know what they do they take a clip and then they dissect it. And a woman was on there and she's like I don't need a man, I don't need, I can have a baby without a man. I can have a baby without a man. I can fix my car without a man, I can buy a house without a man, and and I'm hearing all of this and all of that is true. I don't, we don't need anybody to say whether that's true or not. The truth is is nobody needs anybody, period, and I definitely. But then I put myself in the position of being the person on the receiving end of hearing I don't need you for anything. It doesn't land well, it doesn't sound good it doesn't feel good.
Anthony Hume:I've, I listen, I fully agree with that sentiment too, like I'm not gonna sit here and say there's, I know plenty of single mothers. I have single mothers who are friends, who are family, you know what I mean. Like, uh, who, who's who's who? I have friends of whose mothers like some of the strongest people in this world I think, are single parents, but particular single mothers okay, but that doesn't mean it's ideal. There's, there's a reason why it's a predictor for a litany of not good outcomes. Okay, it's because ideally and this sometimes hurts people's feelings, but let's just call a spade a spade this one is research-backed. In an ideal world, yes, I can. In an ideal world, right, men and women are designed to kind of rear children together, or even in a more ideal world, familial units, right, grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, right like all working it.
Anthony Hume:You know that old saying of it, it it takes a village. And I know that clip you're talking about because I remember I don't know if anything vexed me to my core as hearing that as a young man, being like and and and again, like in my own reflection even, I said here now what I'm about to say is like my like, my first thought was like, well, anthony, what you're about to say is probably how women have felt for centuries. What I'm about to say is you just want me for my body, like you. I'm like you just want me for the sperm, and then you want to just like leave me out to dust, and and not pretty well afterwards and that's what the and that's what these guys were saying, like you just want to take my sperm and run.
Sherisse Alexander:And she was like that's all I need you. And she said that I just, yes, that's all I need you for, I'm gonna take your sperm and I don't need you for anything like ouch, that hurts, that stinks and like and jokes aside, right from like and again like.
Anthony Hume:I think that it's about comparison to be like. You know, that's what, again, what women have been dealing with and that's why we've come this way with the feminist movement. I'm not against women having more equality, more rights, more freedoms in our society. I just think we need to have conversations about like as we do that. Okay, there's still this other half of society that matters. Society that matters because, on a more real level, what you're saying to me when I watch that video to that woman is you don't bring any, you don't add any value to our society.
Anthony Hume:That shit hurts, and it's just not true. It's just not true. And it's like yo, you want to piss somebody off. Like, real quick, tell them that they don't matter whatsoever. Like, and that's again. I think what a lot of young, vulnerable men are hearing like you don't matter you, we don't's. Again, I think what a lot of young, vulnerable men are hearing like you don't matter you, we don't need you, we can do this on our own, and for them, they. I'm lucky to have people in my life that pick me back up and show me every on a daily basis that that is not true, but if I didn't have that support, I might feel a lot worse about myself and have a lot different mindsets and I think that the truth is like.
Sherisse Alexander:If I'm going to be fully honest and authentic here, that's ultimately what you would have heard me saying when I stood in front of you and said ain't nobody want to hear about men's rights right now? I was saying you don't matter because you're a man and I don't care to hear what you have to say right now. That's what I said in that moment, and I have absolutely made the statement to your dad where I've said the same thing that that lady said. Now my intention was to say to him because I said I don't need you, I choose you. So I didn't just say I don't need you, I said I don't need you, I choose you, and so it's a compliment because I have my pick of many and out of many I picked you. But even then, even with all that additional, you know, whatever fluffery, it doesn't take away from the fact that I still said, like I don't need you, like I can do this by myself.
Sherisse Alexander:And going back to that original statement that I made, like the truth is is like logically, we get that Nobody needs anybody to do anything. We are all self-sufficient in one way or another. We will survive. But so that's an interesting idea. So I guess, pivoting just a little bit for you, do you feel like you, like, as a young man out there in the world doing your thing, liaising with women and stuff, do you feel like you understand them? Like, do you think that's part of this red pill thing is that men just are trying to understand women and where we're coming from and further to that, do you feel like you understand women?
Anthony Hume:uh, I'll start at the personal level. I think, naively, when I was young I would have said, yeah, I understand women, but now I get older, absolutely not, um, absolutely not uh. But we can have that uh in a second. I guess, the red pill movement being to understand men trying to understand women. I don't think it's that at all. I think it's, uh, men trying to find the face of this pressure that they're feeling. You know, you talk about the traditional roles, traditional men, traditional women.
Anthony Hume:As I said, I grew up in a very progressive home. So for me, you know, I feel those pushes to move in a more progressive way I'm open to it More traditional people, right, are going to kind of push back against that. So I think it's not men trying to understand women whatsoever, it's men trying to like, push back against that pressure that they're feeling and, as you said, change is hard. Maintain that norm that they've had and in times past. And as for me, yeah, I don't really think I like, I think I continue to grow and learn and try to always like, uh, have empathy for everybody, uh, and hear people out, um, but I don't know if I understand how anybody thinks um, in aggregate, I think what I understand about women is that it's just that, that, that that, like, we're just different. You know what I mean. But I think what I understand about women is that it's just that we're just different. You know what I mean, that sometimes men and women are different, and that I don't know what I'm going to try to say right now.
Sherisse Alexander:It's just. No, it's my answer, I guess. Well, I think you did answer the question and that is that. You know, I think women are tasked equally with the challenge of understanding men and I think I shared with all of you, as in my children, that I think it was this year, maybe this year or last year I read the book Men Are From Mars, women Are From Venus. Oh, what an eye-opening book. But I'll tell you, I continue to plug that book, and I think there's an updated version for the modern world, because that book was actually written quite some time ago. But when I read it, um, and as I related it to understanding men better, it absolutely gave me way more understanding of men Um, it was because it talked about, you know, just kind of like.
Sherisse Alexander:There's this thing that I don't think that we can negate no matter how much time passes, no matter how much we evolve as a species, or maybe there will come a time outside of our lifetimes where we as a species will evolve to the point where those very biological and physiological things that we were eons ago will maybe not matter so much. And what I mean when I say about that is the nurturer role that women play versus the hunter-gatherer-, provider-protector role that men play and how we value each other within that, and it absolutely underpins how we relate to each other in conversation. So a common example that I have found is communication. It's often a challenge between men and women. Women are talkers At least I'm a talker.
Sherisse Alexander:I love to talk, I want to talk about my feelings, my feelings, my feelings and more feelings. Men it's very rare, I think in my experience, to find a man, and I think that it's not because men don't have feelings. It's just not the way that men are wired. They don't necessarily want to sit down and kibitz about that. Now I can admit and you can verify this, but I think that this next generation is a little different when it comes to how men and women or how young men are relating, because I think you are very in touch with your feelings. Is that assessment correct?
Anthony Hume:And I would agree and I would think that, even as I I said, the more traditional men I've been around are far more progressive than a traditional person or man, sorry of like your guys's generation and like the openness to new ideas, to the in-touchness with their feelings, like I meet very few men these days that are completely closed off to that. Now, granted, you know, there's again the anecdotal whatever experience of living in canada, as you said, you hop on a plane, go go somewhere else. I'm sure it's far different in other places, or to me, but uh, yeah, it's funny. I was actually kind of laughing as you're saying that you're like, I feel like, like, like men don't want to talk and women love to talk, and I'm like I was thinking about all my dating history. I'm like, wow, I feel like it's the opposite.
Anthony Hume:I feel like I'm always trying to be very clear with my communication, explain why I'm thinking the way where I'm thinking, why I'm trying to think like, because you know, you brought it down to feelings, feelings, feelings, and I feel like that's probably a basal like difference between men and women, women more in tune with feelings, emotions, etc. Etc. It comes down to hormones, as you said child rank like having menstruation on a monthly basis mess with your hormones. That doesn't happen to me, so like our hormones are just different. So thus women tend to be more emotional creatures. That's biology. That's not going to change, as you said, until thousands of years come and we're in our metal suits like we're Iron man. But until that time that's still going to be the case right.
Sherisse Alexander:I think that that could be a function of the environment that you, I mean. I personally think that we're a product of our environments. I personally think that we're a product of our environments. And so if you are in an environment that encourages you to okay now I'm going to take to say this with a grain of salt, but I think that if you're in an environment that encourages you to identify your feelings, acknowledge them, have them and talk about them, then it makes you more open to doing all of those things. For the ladies that you're talking about, maybe they didn't grow up in that kind of environment, so I guess that I'm supposing that you grew up in an environment that encouraged that.
Anthony Hume:Yes, and I guess really what I'm trying to say is like I feel like I think, feel like slash, think again, as this movement has progressed and you know, it has pushed a more progressive sort of thought on young men my age ish, and I think when I look at those around me that tends to be it right.
Anthony Hume:But now you have this group of young men who are not I'm using air quotes by nature in inclined to be as in touch with their emotions, but because of the societal pressure school, right, like, I think that's a big one, like that kind of this sort of idea. To like think about your feelings and emotions and have that metacognition is a big thing in school as well. So men are working, boys are working on these skills that like don't come naturally to them, so they kind of come out more balanced, whereas women are kind of, you know, pushing this narrative and this is this is a new take, so take it with a grain of salt pushing this new narrative, this more progressive, open, touchy-feely sort of space, um, but aren't working on their lagging skills of critical thinking, you know so perhaps they have those feelings and emotions.
Anthony Hume:I listen, listen you asked me my take this is my experience.
Anthony Hume:That's what I think, because I've broken this down and I've had to have some very tough direct conversations as of late with my partner and be like, listen, like I'm sitting here trying to have a conversation, I'm asking you to think about things in a serious and critical way, and you're just putting up walls, you're just, you don't. It makes you feel too much. You just go, I don't want to feel and I just don't want to think about it. I'm like, well, that's not how life works. We can't just hit pause on thinking about things because it makes us uncomfortable. Like we have to push through that and, you know, grapple with things that are challenging. And now that might have been too grand, sweeping a statement, but I guess. But that is where I find that breakdown. It's not that, you know, women don't have these feelings. I find there's a challenge in like that being expressed and it being communicated clearly.
Sherisse Alexander:So not speaking for your partner, but I might be. I'm going to weigh in for a moment and you can tell me to mind my own damn business if you want to. But, um, you're I, I understand what you're saying, uh, and I, I was actually going to say that I think that it could be. You know, I don't even know that it's a man and a woman thing, because, let's put it like this, if you have an insecurity about something and you hit my hot button on that insecurity, so we're going to be, uh, we're going to be candid here.
Sherisse Alexander:So one insecurity that I had during my relationship with your dad was he. So one insecurity that I had during my relationship with your dad was he would always tell me that I was too sensitive. And it was like he would say you're just being so sensitive, or like, or too sensitive, and that the way it was delivered I found it insulting and to the point where I was like, okay, well, I guess I'll just put up some walls and not be so sensitive. And the point that I'm trying to drive at here is like, if that person has, like, an insecurity about something, like critical thinking, you know, maybe it boils down to, really, at the end of the day, recognizing that the approach on this is maybe not working and we're going to readjust and we're going to have this conversation, or even the person who's receiving it, who's feeling triggered, because really, when we feel something, it's really an indicator to us that there's something within us that needs to be healed.
Sherisse Alexander:So, in my own example, where I said I would feel triggered when somebody would tell me that I was too sensitive, well, be that as it may, all that I needed to recognize, you know, all those years ago was like okay, why am I reacting like this? Why am I upset about this? Okay, am I too sensitive? Do I really think that? No, I have feelings and I want to feel them, and if you don't want to deal with them, then go to another room. I'm not doing anything other than feeling my feelings.
Sherisse Alexander:So my point within all of that is that that could be true where maybe you feel like I can acknowledge that, that from your perspective, maybe you're doing your work and your partner is not doing theirs. But there's also something very wise that you said to me a few years ago and I don't remember if you'll remember this, but I was having a conversation with you I think I had just gotten home from Nigeria and you said, mom, sometimes you just have to meet people where they are. And you sometimes give me these one-liners where it's I feel like there was just a mic drop when you say things like that. But I'm going to spit that back to you and say sometimes you just have to meet people where they are. So if you know that there is a sensitivity around that, then preface it right now.
Anthony Hume:I'm not, I'm not trying to get into all of that, but no, no, but I, I guess all I would say to like kind of push back is like, I agree, there can be a sensitivity, there can be like we're all human, we're all going to have things that trigger us, that put those walls up, right. But, as you pointed out, right, you went and you did that work when you were feeling that way, right, I feel like oftentimes, when I'm around young women these days, that work is put back on me. You know, like, yes, you, you can be upset about something and triggered and I want to talk about it. But it's on you to do that work, it's on you to let me know that. You know you can't just lash out at me because you didn't like something and I'm just sitting here going what the like? What did I even say? Like what? I have no idea what I've even done to merit this reaction. Like what did I even say? Like I have no idea what I've even done to merit this reaction. I'm just trying to have a normal conversation and an adult conversation. You know that's on you to do that work and on you to make me aware so I can make those changes.
Anthony Hume:Hey, I don't actually like when we talk about this. So can we kind of do it in a different way? Can we do this, can we do that? Oh, for sure, of course, I for sure, of course. I didn't know that, that you felt that way. You have to let your partner know that, in that case, now we're going down a ballpark.
Sherisse Alexander:That's okay, we can let this go wherever it goes. But you know, responding back to that that requires a large degree of awareness and at the end of the day, you know, when I think about when I started to do the work on myself and the reflection on myself, you know it takes it's years of work. It's not a day, a week or a month. It is like really genuinely stopping and saying, okay, something is not working here because and I think that that comes from recognizing patterns of behavior within yourself. So you know, I always, I've often said to you you know, the self-awareness that you show, the emotional maturity that you show, is like so such a beautiful thing to watch, especially given how young you are. For myself, that didn't start until like I don't know, I think it was like 37. So like 12, 13 years after you started maybe pondering these bigger questions. So that's why I said we got to meet people where they are.
Sherisse Alexander:And you know, I think, if we just maybe kind of remember that relationships, really, somebody totally took the romanticism out of it for me not that long ago and they said you know, we think that relationships are all about love and all this other kind of stuff, and sure that's nice, that's a lovely sentiment, but the truth is is that relationships are the greatest opportunity for us to learn about ourselves, because often the things that are reflected so in other words, what we see in other people in we see in other people in our relationships that we don't like or rub us the wrong way is a reflection of something within ourselves that we do not like.
Sherisse Alexander:And I've tested this theory on myself, on almost everything that I can think of, and it hasn't failed me yet, even the ones that surprise me. It'll usually reflect itself or I'll have an understanding at some point down the road. So relationships are a real interesting place to have this conversation Because, again I go back to saying, I think this whole red pill movement ultimately boils down to how we as men and women relate with each other, not only just in close personal relationships but even in the workplace.
Anthony Hume:Yeah, for sure, for sure.
Sherisse Alexander:So there was something that you'd said that I wanted to expand upon a little bit more. You'd said that you felt like the red pill movement was, like it was dangerous if we didn't, if we weren't mindful of it. Can you elaborate more on what you meant?
Anthony Hume:yeah, for sure, I think that, uh, I think that, uh, man, how do I want to go about this, trying to be as pc as I can be but also speak politely at the same time? But you can't do both in today's world. No, um, no, I think, uh, basically, in a nutshell, like I said, I think it's a vulnerable population. That's just like any kind of radical idea. Um, if you radicalize a group of people, they can be pushed, coerced, um persuaded to do dangerous things or get their own ideas to do dangerous things.
Anthony Hume:You know like, let's not get it twisted uh, women are still the highest recipients of domestic violence, of sexual violence, um, uh, of, of, of, of assault, of harassment in the workplace and in the world right, so it's not like you know.
Anthony Hume:That's why the idea of men's right is is still a laughable thing, because even in the workplace and in the world Right, so it's not like you know. It's why the idea of men's right is is still a laughable thing, because even in the West right you've talked about going outside of the Western world and seeing how different things are even in the West this is still the reality.
Anthony Hume:So I guess the reason why I think that it's dangerous is because I think that if you have this group of vulnerable people, uh, think that if you have this group of vulnerable people, uh, who are having these ideas filled in their head, that you know they are owed something or that they are being wrong in a certain way or that, and that the issue all comes down to this group of people, right? That line of like thought has never panned well for human beings in the past period. That's how genocides have happened, that's how wars have been started, that's what lots of bad things have happened, by saying all these problems that you are facing are because of that group of people over there, and so thus it's so. Then the next logical thought is well then, the retaliation towards that group of people is now justified because they're fucking on me.
Anthony Hume:Sorry for the language I'm not sure what the quote is here on this podcast.
Anthony Hume:Okay, cool, but because they're messing with me sorry, because they're messing with me. Now it's validated that I go whatever call them a slut in the street because they're wearing this. I shame them for their notch count. I do this, I do that. Third, it's it's all justified because all this bad feelings I'm feeling well, that's their fault. Even if this woman's done nothing to me, she is a symbol for all the bad things that have happened to me. Again, it's a theory, it's not founded in anything, but I think you know when we look at who perpetrates these crimes I'm talking about, it is men, so that's why I think it's dangerous so do you know of any women, though, that are staunch supporters of the red pill movement in one capacity or another?
Anthony Hume:I don't know if I like I I tried to get off the online spaces. These days, as you may tell, I can get very passionate about these, these topics, and it can mess, but it can mess with. Anybody said be online too much, it isn't good for anybody. Um, but I remember when, when I was online, I would say, like the odd female creator who would kind of espouse sort of things, that like we're talking about more moderation in considering these ideas and, like you know, not just jumping on the bandwagon of shitting on men, but know, not just jumping on the the bandwagon of shitting on men, but being like, hey, like you know, have you ever considered?
Anthony Hume:how like men have to deal with like this. You know what I mean and how that might not be too hot and how would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot, kind of thing. Um, yeah, so, um, I've seen a couple, but no, it's mostly. I said it's a men-led movement and even when you bring up, even if you bring up these conversations without using these triggering words such as men's rights, red pill, whatever, whatever, just bringing up the ideas to women, I've found oof, it can get hot and heated in a second.
Sherisse Alexander:So it's just not worth it. Well.
Anthony Hume:I mean, how do Sorry and not in a good way, Sorry and not hot and heated in a good way, Sorry and not hot and heated in a good way, Hot and heated in?
Sherisse Alexander:a fiery feisty. We're now fighting each other way. I'm sorry, and I say that because I love it.
Anthony Hume:No, it's fine for me. I love the mental spark. I think it's great. I think it's great. I think it's great to challenge people. I totally agree.
Sherisse Alexander:I mean, you grew up in a house where we did this all the time. We still do it to this day.
Sherisse Alexander:So at the end of the day, I also we are and I enjoy the discourse, because how, if I actually approach each interaction as an opportunity to either teach or to learn, then, no matter what, something great is going to happen. And the reality is is. I mean even in that, that moment where you said to me you know, you have three sons and you don't care about the things that are important to us. And I'll never forget that statement. But I guess I bring it up because it was the beginning of shifting. And not to say by any stretch of the imagination that I would consider myself a feminist. I think that I consider myself an equalist more than anything else. And the reality is, is that that statement that you'd made, I think, was the beginning of a shift in my own perspective and thinking about it really for my sons.
Sherisse Alexander:And so that's why I said to you, even in conversation with people today, when we talk about men and women and this transitional time that we're in right now, I'll often say you know, I really feel bad for men.
Sherisse Alexander:Please don't tar and feather me. But what I mean when I say that is like, as I said, it's a transition generation where we're moving from what was to something new and it's scary. And, as you so rightly said, and it's scary. And, as you so rightly said, men are some men not all are probably in resistance of that, because it's been very masculine energy for a very, very long time.
Sherisse Alexander:And I would actually prefer a world where we can recognize and see each other's differences and actually celebrate what those differences are, because, at the end of the day, um, I, I want men in my life. They bring lots of value to this world and I would never, ever say that there's as there is, as there are bad men, there are equally bad women, uh, and I say bad just meaning they're coming from a place of some kind of unhealed hurt and pain. I think that there's light in every single one of us, so, um, so, in your opinion, as we move forward through this transitionary phase, how do you think that we bridge the gap so that we can appreciate and celebrate each other's differences?
Anthony Hume:the same way I'm. I'm quietly clapping. The same way we bridge gaps with anybody, with any person, over any issue anywhere, is to communicate. That's the way open discourse, talking, being upset and not running away, not throwing stones, sitting in the uncomfortable feelings and just learning. As you said, learning is not. I'm sorry, I feel like I've had this conversation lost this week, so it is a little monotone because I'm just like I'm trying to keep my own emotions in check because I feel so passionately about this topic and passion, while great in life, not great on an audio medium for people's ears. So, yeah, I would say discourse talking, because I think that that's been lost. I think that that is.
Anthony Hume:We are losing lots because of technology these days. I recently heard this week that there's no more third space. I'm not sure if you know what that is. It's a whole different thing, but that idea that we used to have there, used to used to be work home, and this third space we used to meet and gather and we've lost that.
Anthony Hume:You know, I think that as we get more and more used to technology and reliant, we're losing things that make us human, and that is one of the things that makes us human is talking about things and again being feeling challenged and like not liking it and like because of the, the, the instant gratification that my generation has grown grown up with, like being the like, first real generation to really have that always. Like always, if I want something, I just have it. Right now We've lost that patience, that like willingness to like, be uncomfortable to like, you know, not have it our way Always. You know, we're kind of kings and queens of our own domains these days and that means that we can kind of shut off our domain to anything that we don't like, which I think makes us weaker as a people, as a society. It's not good.
Sherisse Alexander:I'm so glad that you touched on the emotional piece of it and I keep coming back to it because it's such a critical part of having effective communication. And I have said to in throughout some of these podcasts that one thing that I remember doing with with you kids maybe not you as much, but definitely some onwards you, you paved the way, but have your feelings right Um, I remember allowing for that space, and I think that that's a really important part of being able to have that really valuable conversation right Is recognizing and asking yourself better questions, which is a little tricky when you're young, um, but I think that as you get older, uh, if we can learn how to ask ourselves better and more critical questions. Going back to what you were saying about critical thinking, become the spectator of your movie as opposed to being the actor or actress in your movie, and so what I mean when I make that statement is you know you are having a conversation, you are feeling triggered by it, some emotion, whatever it is, but generally have a low vibe. Okay, the first question in my mind is why am I feeling this? And usually what we'll do correct me if I'm wrong is we're going to blame the other person. We're going to say well, so-and-so said something and it made me angry.
Sherisse Alexander:Okay, well, they're just saying something, why are you actually angry? And start to logic your way through it, and that is a skill that we do not know how to do and that needs to be taught, because you can't actually have effective, effective communication If we can't remove the emotion from the conversation, which I think is exactly what you're saying is you were relating about your partner. So how do you, how do you move somebody through that? Do you even try? Or do you just like okay, great, I want to hear it. How do you?
Anthony Hume:because I so glad you asked because I'm here to drop knowledge today. I'm putting on my teacher hat no, but I guess the way I can best describe how I do it because you're right, I've been privileged enough. You mentioned how you know you didn't have these skills until you were later in life and I feel flattered. But I feel like that's also a little bit harsh on yourself and too flattering to me. Not having kids, it's a big perk.
Anthony Hume:It's a big perk to like life in terms of having time to True, very, very true, oh for sure. But the way that I've explained to people in terms of, like you know, working through that, that, that that I call it critical emotional thinking, I mean like you're thinking critically and reflectively about your own thoughts and feelings Metacognition, if you want to use a big word, right, thinking about your thinking. Or, in this case, you're like feelings. And for me, what I do is when you know, when something challenges me, I feel, I feel things in my guts. So I'm one of.
Anthony Hume:I'm one of those people I follow my gut feeling. I feel like I like the way that feels right, and I just go why? And then I try to answer that question oh, I didn't like when so-and-so said they didn't like my new haircut. Well, why didn't I like that? Well, I didn't like my new haircut. Well, why didn't I like that? Well, I didn't like it because I spent a whole lot of money on that haircut and money's kind of tight right now. And then I just keep asking why? And I just follow that.
Anthony Hume:I call it following that thread of feelings, like, ah, there is the answer I've been searching for. You know, sometimes the answer comes from within that kind of thing, right, but through that reflection and just you know, never being satisfied and just like ending with feeling that way, I don't end until I'm like, ah, that's where the, where the root of this all comes from. I, it wasn't actually about my haircut, it actually goes back to christmas eve in 2003. You know what I mean? Like one of those things, right, where it's like oh, it had nothing to do with anything all along.
Sherisse Alexander:I was just it just manifested in this weird kind of way, but that's usually how it goes, that's kind of that's exactly how it goes right and that's and I thank you for breaking it down exactly that way, because I've said that on this very podcast, where it's like you just got to keep asking yourself questions and you'll know when you get to the answer, because it's like whatever you're feeling in your body, whatever that emotion is, exactly it goes away, exactly as soon as you land on it.
Anthony Hume:It's like, like, like, like, just like all that tension and anger, you just go.
Sherisse Alexander:Yeah, exactly, that's how you know. That's how you know. So, for those of you who are like well, I keep asking you questions, well, when you don't feel angry anymore, that means you found the reason, the real reason why, and it is like every single time.
Anthony Hume:So if you're so angry, keep asking more questions.
Sherisse Alexander:Keep asking more questions, like is the answer you are not done yet, and it could take some time, it could take an hour, it could take two, it could take a day, it could take a week, but keep asking the questions and eventually and in my experience, it's never the thing that originally made me mad Never. It is never, ever, ever that thing. It is something so old and so buried and so long, usually from childhood is what I realized, some narrative that we've painted for ourselves. And so how do you teach that, anthony, like how do you teach that?
Sherisse Alexander:So it might be Sorry, you cut out there for just one second, so it might be easier to teach that to the youth. Right, you're a teacher, they might be a little more open. Kids are like sponges, right? But how do you impart that knowledge to like a friend or a significant other or a partner, someone that you're in close relationship with, so that they receive it and understand what you're trying to say?
Anthony Hume:I think I honestly would say just the way that me and you just did, and for having trouble with it. It's like what you said earlier, right, which is meet people where they're at. I can't make you reflect on how you think things. You know what I mean. I can only know that I've done that work and I know where I stand on things and I know why I stand on things, right, um, yeah, I, I, I, I can help you. I guess you can, you can talk to me. You know actually, that's what it's been, actually Sorry, so I I should rephrase I can't make anybody do anything.
Anthony Hume:But if someone's like I don't know how, right, oh, that's too hard, like I don't know how to do that, okay, cool, let's. If it's something that you're mad about, same thing you're mad about you. You said you didn't like my haircut, and then I will just sit there and go, okay, why. You said about your haircut, well, I don't know, no, no, I don't know is not an acceptable answer right now. Why are you? Why are you mad about that? I don't care what the answer is. Give me an actual answer, then they'll go. Well, it's because of this. Okay, why that I love that? Okay, well, well, it's because of that. Okay, why that now? And then I just keep saying why, why? And then eventually they go oh, that's true. I'm like, yeah, just keep.
Anthony Hume:And I, and I like the word why because you know, I'm not sure if you're a ted lasso fan, mom, but that's like a ted lasso thing. It's like be curious. Right, it's be curious, and that's for me where it comes from. I'm just a naturally curious student. I want to know why things. You were my mom, you know, as a kid I was that kid still. I'm that kid growing up, of like, if you tell me to do anything. I'm like, why, why can't it be this way? Why can't it be that way? Because I just, and as soon as you give me a reason that makes sense, I'm like, oh, okay, cool and as long as it makes sense.
Sherisse Alexander:But if it doesn't make sense to see, folks, I told you we, we raised some children that we we taught them to ask questions and ask questions they do well, hey, I love that well, you come by it honestly.
Anthony Hume:Yeah, it does, but you come by it honestly right?
Sherisse Alexander:Yeah, it does, but you come by it honestly. Right, Because both I mean we've already said our family is one that loves this kind of discourse and discussion. The debates can get extremely heated and some feelings can get hurt, but that doesn't mean that we should.
Sherisse Alexander:It doesn't mean we shy away from it. We still come back to the table and have conversations. So for you, what kind of brought you? I mean, I guess I kind of already know the answer, but I'm going to ask the question anyways, like you've done so much from my perspective in a reflection, you and I've had many conversations about lots of different things, like what brought you here, what brought you to the path of, like, your own inner journey?
Anthony Hume:uh, at such a young age, man who knows, truly I'm not trying to be coy truly, who knows? I don't know why, why, why my brain works this way. That's, that's a why I haven't even answered for myself. I guess I shouldn't be so flippant. I guess I would say part of it is like you know, I have goals and ambitions, big ones in life, and I'm a big balance guy. I'm big on balance, right. I'm very strong in certain areas and you know, I'm always trying to get better, whether it's in the strong areas or in the weak areas.
Anthony Hume:And the best way to do that is to reflect. You know, you can't know how to be better at something until you know the mistakes that you made. You know, there's a very famous, there's a very famous, uh, problem solving procedure. Uh, that starts with you know, you know the, the ways to solve any problem. So I might be wrong on this one, but the way I was taught the way to solve problems, you know break, I know what the problem is. Think about some options for how to solve that problem, weigh the pros and cons of those options, make a decision and then you reflect right.
Anthony Hume:And so I'm big on that last one, I'm big on the reflecting why we made those choices. How could have gone better, how could have gone worse? Um the the. The key is balancing that reflection because in today's mental health, open world, uh, too much reflection and what could have gone better, how could have been different, can lead to some real deal anxiety and depressive thoughts. You know we can't go back in time and change things, but we can learn from our mistakes, right, and we can gain some insight into how we think, how we feel. Um, you know, those, those, those answers to how we traverse the world and take that knowledge into future situations.
Sherisse Alexander:I think that there's also an opportunity and I think that was summarized in your last point to celebrate, even in these situations where we didn't maybe handle it as we envisioned, that we could or didn't go as well as we thought, or whatever the case may be, and I think that what helps us move forward and really what I'm talking about here is breaking of cycles and patterns, because have you identified your own cycles and patterns?
Anthony Hume:I think so. I think so. I'm still trying to work through it. Yeah, for sure, for sure. I've identified at least one big one that I'm really still working on. I'm big into kind of. You know what I mean. It's that black and white thinking, sometimes called all or nothing. I mean it's this, or yeah, I, I guess I'm coming along. Um, yeah, still doing that work, I would say I feel like I'm better identifying them. Uh, doing the actual work is challenging. You know, it's a. It's a.
Sherisse Alexander:It's not just a day-to-day thing, it's like a moment-to-moment interaction-to-interaction thing as well 100%, and I think the truth is, anthony, that if we're not learning and growing, then we're dying. I think it's lifelong work. I don't think that the work ever, ever, ever stops. I think that it becomes I don't want to say, easier.
Sherisse Alexander:There's this really great type of analogy that Gabby Bernstein used in one of her books where she talks about navigating like the emotional waves that come up and that's really obviously as a result of any unhealed things from the past, and the way that she put it is kind of like, as those waves come, like when they first come and you don't have the tools or the resources to navigate how to deal with the wave, you'll get knocked over by it.
Sherisse Alexander:But as you gain more tools and gain more resources and learn more about yourself and what your own wounds are, those waves they have less and less effect, they become smaller in life, and so you just become better at navigating those waves. Now I don't know we'll see how the theory goes but so far, to this point, I think I agree, if I think about the challenges that I've had in my own life and how the waves almost felt like they would knock me over. But now it's just a better understanding, I think of this journey called life and the challenges that we come up across and why, most importantly, why and how. It's really more of a reflection of something that I need to work on within myself. So for you, you know that I'm on a spiritual journey. I'm curious how that has played into your own experience.
Anthony Hume:Sorry. So you're saying like how is spirituality played a role in my own life? Not hugely if I'm being honest, not hugely, if I'm being honest. Uh, obviously it should be interesting for listeners to hear the cross comparison of your children and their views on spirituality, because we are, in that regard, we truly do run the entire spectrum with myself being with myself being uh the most, I don't say skeptical, but the least in tune.
Anthony Hume:I guess you might say uh, but I'm adjacent to it. I'd say I'm spiritual adjacent because you know you can't not be when your mom is, um, not a witch spiritual. You can't not be fully uh like out on these things. So I have knowledge and I have things that I know and understand and I've had my own experiences. The degree to which it like impacts my day to day a little bit like not 50, but like 20 to 30 percent, I'd say it's like it's kind of there in the, in the recesses of my mind, as you know, a uh as a potential factor to all things.
Sherisse Alexander:You know what I find really interesting, anthony, is you work in an indigenous community and indigenous folks have, as far as I know and please correct me if I'm wrong, those who participate have strong ties to the ancestors and the beliefs around the value of the youth and the elders and being tied to the land and spirits and all this other kind of stuff. So how do you navigate that? Because that is a form of spirituality and faith. It's not maybe traditional, but it's certainly traditional to Canada, and I just talk, I mean, in terms of our Indigenous people. How do you navigate that without having some kind of because I know you hold Indigenous people in strong, strong regard. So how do you navigate that?
Anthony Hume:As you're talking. I guess perhaps it does impact my insights more than ever, because I guess, I guess my take is like spirituality, it's not like it's fake, it's not like it's not like there's not spirit and power, magic, if you want to use that word, jokes aside, in this world, right, like there are these, in my opinion, these metaphysical things that we can't fully explain. I've had my own experiences, I've stories it's, etc. Etc. So I guess, with how I grapple with it in my works field, in my workspace, I just understand that like that is that like those truths are not like I don't dim, I don't diminish them. Like those are as much a part of the quote-unquote truth of the world.
Anthony Hume:As a scientist opening up a research paper, right, learning about medicine, men performing medicine which is the word for magic in Dene, stories in indigenous culture, right, like that is like that is, like there's truth to that, you know, I mean there's people who have these experiences and like I'm not gonna ever be able to tell them anything different, right, um, and so, yeah, so I guess, for like me, I just kind of I'm like, yeah, like bars, like, yeah, this is a real thing, and like I totally when, when elders are telling stories about seeing. I'm not going to say any bad names here, you know I mean, uh, as trainees.
Anthony Hume:You know there's certain words that we just we just can't say right but when I hear stories, I understand yes, my hair stories about people seeing certain things in the bush or having experiences.
Anthony Hume:I'm never like smack, that never happened. I'm like, yeah, fair bars, probably, if that's what happened, that's what happened. I'm not gonna like you know, it's like that, it's like that. I believe you kind of like sentiment, you know, um, because, yeah, that, that, that that is a part of life, um, religion, spirituality, etc. It's and I think it's real. I I guess to what I come in as I'm like the degree to which that I put stock into that personally or take that into my own life, I guess I'm still figuring out you might say that's fair.
Sherisse Alexander:It was a late journey for me, but a journey nonetheless, so okay. Well, thank you so much, Anthony, for this discussion. I welcome your ideas and your sharing of what you've learned thus far and part of your own journey. I'm extremely grateful and you'll be welcome back again.
Anthony Hume:Thank you. Thank you for having me. I'm loving what you're doing. Interesting topic today. I didn't expect that, but glad I could be the resident expert on all things internet toxicity and help your viewers gain more insight into the generation I'm sure that they're not, that they're not a part of. I'm going to be your, I'm going to be your in road to the youth, and we all know that's how we get views and clicks. So you're welcome for being here.
Sherisse Alexander:Oh my gosh, young people like me. I will have you know, you're super hip. Super, super hip man, sassy children, Thank you so much for joining myself and Anthony today, as we discussed a myriad of topics. As always, it's a pleasure to have you join us. If you enjoyed the content that I am bringing you, please feel free to like, subscribe, etc. Or you can reach out to me with any content or sorry, any feedback that you would like to share at charisse atourcollectiveca. Thanks so much and take care.