Your Collective - Mind, Body & Spiritual Balance
Your Collective is a space where we explore the ways in which we can calm and quiet the mind, so that we can tune into and listen to our bodies and ultimately listen to the whisper of what our soul desires. How do we connect the trifecta so that they can work together in harmony and unity?
Your Collective - Mind, Body & Spiritual Balance
Conflict into Compassionate Communication
Imagine being a young father navigating the challenges of parenthood in a world where societal expectations often overlook your contributions. Join me, Sherisse Alexander, as I chat with my longtime friend and author Les Ray, aka Raz, about his journey and the unique obstacles he faced raising his children. We’ll confront the disparity between Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, and delve into the evolving roles of fathers in our modern households. This heartfelt conversation kicks off our exploration into men’s rights and the importance of understanding fatherhood from a fresh perspective.
In this episode, we underscore the significance of community support, particularly for single parents. Drawing from Les' own experiences chronicled in "Revenge is for God," we discuss how a network of family and friends can make all the difference in overcoming trauma and fostering resilience. Through real-life examples, like a conflict between Jay-Z and Prodigy, we examine how empathy and understanding can transform confrontations into opportunities for growth and resolution. The dialogue then shifts to the Buddhist philosophy of personal responsibility and the profound impact of embracing pain for personal development.
We also venture into the creative realms with a peek into the making of the graphic novel "Cardiac Arrest," exploring its themes of societal reform and cultural diversity. Wrapping up our discussion, we reflect on spirituality and its role in navigating life’s hurdles, emphasizing the journey towards self-awareness and collective harmony. With a blend of personal stories, practical advice, and philosophical insights, this episode promises a rich tapestry of knowledge and inspiration aimed at fostering a deeper sense of authenticity and connection in your own life.
Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, wherever you might be. My name is Sherisse Alexander, your host of your Collective. On today's episode, I'll be sitting down with my longtime friend and author of the book Revenge is for God. Today, Les and I will be chatting about his experience as a young father, some of the challenges that he faced and how he navigated those experiences. So, without any further delay, let's dive in. Let's dive in.
Sherisse Alexander:Thank you so much, Les, for joining me today here on Your Collective. It is such an honor and a pleasure to have you join me today. You are one of those people that I find to be supremely fascinating with an interesting story. I've known you for okay, uh, like 30 years. Wow, I've known you're like one of the okay, I don't want to say you're one of the oldest people I know, but I've known. You're one of the people I've known the longest in my life let's just say it like that and so it's really awesome to have you here today. Um, we are going to get to it, because I've got lots of questions and I think you have a lot that you want to share and that you want to say today. So, welcome, why don't we start with you telling me a little bit about yourself and to the listeners that are joining us?
Les Ray:Well, thank you for inviting me on this podcast. It's like the first time I've done it, so you know, please be a cherry popping, cherry popping. He didn't want it to be sexual.
Sherisse Alexander:I didn't. Okay, I guess I did Sorry.
Les Ray:Well, my name is uh, Les Ray Um Raz. You call me Raz Ray for short. Um, I'm, uh. I work as a uh you know entrepreneur. Um, I run running businesses. I I'm currently an author of a book called revenge is for god. Um, and I'm writing my own comic book series, and I have known this miss here charise for a good number of years, and I'm just happy to be here today to discuss whatever pops up.
Sherisse Alexander:Yeah, we're going to discuss a few things, so this particular interview is actually part of my men's series.
Les Ray:So it's the gender, it's an us versus them type of thing? Huh, no, not at all. In fact, it's just the gender it's a us versus them type of thing?
Sherisse Alexander:No, not at all. In fact, it's just the opposite. And I think, yeah, it's actually exactly the opposite. And I think what actually spawned this in my mind is I was having a conversation with Anthony one day and so I have done an episode with Anthony as well where we get into this, and so I have done an episode with Anthony as well where we get into this.
Sherisse Alexander:And, anyways, we were standing in the kitchen one day and he was trying to share with me his perspective as a young man and men's rights, and I looked at him. I said ain't no woman want to hear shit about men's rights? Like, boy, please? That was like my yeah, and he did that. That face you just made is what he did, and he did that. That face you just made is what he did. Yeah, yeah, but what I was. So he looked at me and he was like mom, you have like three sons. Like how could this not be important to you? And, of course, I was able to take a step back and say, okay, you know what? You're right, you're my sons and I love you and you are important to me, and so the things that are important to you are important to me.
Sherisse Alexander:Anyways, it took us down this path of um looking or starting to talk about men's rights and, uh, he pointed me in the direction of, uh, these YouTubers, abba and Preach If you've never seen them, go watch them. Um, and I think their contents evolved a little bit. Um, I still find them extremely entertaining, but sometimes, when I'm in conversations with people, when I say, how did this come up? It's actually a lead up to Father's Day or right around Father's Day, and you know, we always hear so much about Mother's Day. Mother's Day always gets so much hallmark ad space.
Les Ray:I mean it should mark ad space. And you know the mother's day, get romantic dinners and and the candies and I love you, mom, and stay at home while we get a tie. If that, if we get a tie, or even a happy father's day, take it as it as it is. We've been doing it for years. I don't really wish him. I call my dad. I wish him a happy Father's Day. He doesn't say nothing back. It's love, right? My son calls me.
Sherisse Alexander:I don't say nothing back. It's love. So I was just curious and so it got me thinking about, you know, wanting to hear it from a man's perspective, because we, as women, often talk about the challenges around parenting and the challenges around motherhood and I think in large degree, that challenge is because of how the roles have shifted and changed over the decades between men and women, mothers and fathers, and what that actually looks like in a household today. So that's what actually inspired this, and I'm sure we will go off in many directions with this content. But what inspired this particular men's series was I really wanted to hear from the men that I knew who were fathers and understand what their challenges are. So I will turn it over to you Tell us about your experience as being a young father um, great, I loved being a young father.
Les Ray:It was amazing, I mean, once again, I think we started this I'm not sure if we got it on but we were talking about problems in life and and the problem people have. You know, um, like most men, I was about 26 years old, coming out of a place of I desperately wanted to have some type of um, some, I wanted to be teetered to some type of a new life, a new, you know, a new experience. I just came out of a shithole and, um, we swear, I just came out of a hellhole and, um, I just wanted to have something where it was stable and it was loving and it would calm down for my regular life. So, you know, I got with this girlfriend and, you know, everything was going good and she got pregnant and la-di-da-di-da Life started, you know, 26. I still think it's early to have children, wasn't married or anything like that, that, but it is what it is right. Um, you solve these problems as they come, you know. So, um, you know, we decided, she decided, we decided to have the baby. Baby comes and, uh, from the get-go. It was challenging, but it was one of the best experiences I've ever had.
Les Ray:Um, he's a great kid. He's, you know, great great family grew up, uh, very much like me, very understanding. Um, he passed a lot of tests I gave him it was fun being a father. He just got this little mini me beside you which you can mold and shape and grow into like whatever you want. It's like your second chance and everything that you weren't given or, you know, taken away from you can install that knowledge and wisdom and history onto this young, impressionable kid. And I think I did that very good.
Les Ray:And you know there's three parts right. It starts off with you got to give your kid great, the right genetics. You know you got it. You got to make sure everything's good to give your that child that start. And then the second part would be like family structure. Like you might, you gotta put that kid into like the great family structure.
Les Ray:And that was best thing about me is that I had a great community. You know my mom and everybody else around me helped. Um, you know, sister, and everybody else helped but helped me raise this kid, which I needed because I was still a little bit wild. I like to go out and stuff on the weekend and just drop my kid off and my mom would be there to help me out. And you know, thank you moms and thank you grandmas, and you know that's a problem, I think, with a lot of young kids these days. They don't have grandmas or grandparents anymore to help.
Les Ray:But anyway, the third thing you'd also need is you know the outside world. And you know the outside world and that would infect the kid's life, or you know how it's treated, how the outside world treats them, which you have nothing to do with about that. But you know if you got. But if you got all three things and something happens on the outside world, they can always come back. If they got good genetics, they can always come back. If they got good family structure, they can always come back. So that's my take on it and, uh, yeah, I love being a father. It was great, I do it again.
Sherisse Alexander:I'm curious. Um, you talked a lot about what you feel like you taught your son the lessons and the values and all those other kinds of things. What would you say you learned from your experience? So what did he teach you?
Les Ray:What he taught me? Um, he gave me hope. Um, he taught me different ways of looking at things. Um, he, you know, one of the things, one of the funny stories I have with him is that you know, uh, I would always tell him the stories of you know how to stand up for yourself. And and I don't want you to be a follower, your dad was never a follower I don't want you to be one of these people that go around following everybody, what everybody says. I want you to be able to think for yourself.
Les Ray:So one day I tested him. He was wearing this t-shirt that you know, know, I didn't think he should be wearing, wasn't anything offensive, but he didn't go to that school, so why is he wearing that t-shirt? And I came in with my after work bullying self and I said, listen, it's a nice t-shirt. I think you should take it off, since you didn't go to that school. And he shrugged me off like that was nothing, like you, didn't you know? And I'm like, listen, I'm to you. And he knew what was going on.
Sherisse Alexander:You're trying to lay down the law.
Sherisse Alexander:Yeah, I'm laying down the law.
Les Ray:I want to see if he's going to pass this test. So I, you know, I grabbed his arm and said you better take that t-shirt off now. And I gave him my face Like I mean business. And he looks at me. He's like why don take it off me? Then? Whoa, I'm sorry part. Yeah, right, so then what? So that was, you know, that was my, that was that challenge. And then I tried to attempt to take it off and guys slipped me around, put me in a headlock. I didn't see it coming at all. So he got me by surprise and here I am in his headlock and tapped out. And you know, it's a funny story and I tell my friends and they laugh at me all the time like how did you get put in the headlock by your kid? But I'm like you guys are missing the point. The point is that he stood up for himself. He didn't, he didn't let me take that t-shirt and he fought back and he put me in the headlock his own dad. You know what?
Sherisse Alexander:there's a lot of people that would not see that story that way.
Les Ray:And you're absolutely right. There's a lot of people, but there's a lot of kids that if their dad stood up to them, they would back down, they would back down. And that's the problem, I think, with society. A lot of people would back down, a lot of people would do anything to avoid the conflict, to avoid the fight. But this guy said no, I'm not. Thank you who you are, I'm putting you in this headlock.
Sherisse Alexander:Thank you, son, for teaching me, showing me, in fact, that you're ready for this world. Well, I don't know if they're ever really readyilled them with strong enough core values that they will be okay as the problems as you talked about start to come up, because they will not be able to avoid them. So what are maybe some of the and I don't love this word, so I'm going to offer an alternative word to this so what are some of the challenges that you feel like you did face as a father, or opportunities throughout your experience?
Les Ray:Well, you know challenges. Well, you know challenges. You know I came, like my upbringing, I came from a family where, you know, dad provided everything, so and mom stayed at home and took care of the kids. Now, that is not the upbringing I was able to provide for my son, so that was a challenge on its own. He came, you know, he stayed at my house, he stayed at his mom's house. You know that was I wasn't there all the time, and not to say that I needed to be, but I was completely there when it mattered, when it counted, and I saw him lots, don't get me wrong, but not being able to like have that choice of saying saying, hey, you know, stay home and I got this kid, or whatever whatever, um, you know, economically that was, it was.
Les Ray:It was obviously as a challenge. Um, the family structure was a challenge, um stuff like that. But we made it work, we totally made it work. We all came together, um, big mom included, all came together to make it work, to give the best opportunity and best positive experience we can. And the uh opportunities with that is that it really does take a village to raise your child. Really it does you, if you, really, if you're sitting out thinking I'm single and I can do this all by my own, it's just like whew.
Sherisse Alexander:Wow, I mean you can, but I think the question is, is it ideal? And I mean you talked about family structure. You know your mom and your dad and your sister and you know Brandon's mom and like, don't even forget, forget the extended family and the friends, and that's a village. That's actually a village, right? Because, dollars to donuts, if your kid was out in the streets doing something that he shouldn't be doing, there'd be somebody who would see him and they would just pick up their phone and call and say, hey, I saw your kid. And how many times is that? And I'm not saying that that necessarily happened in your household, but it happens in households everywhere every day where somebody sees that somebody's kid out on the street doing something and they call home to say I saw your child doing something. So it absolutely does take a village.
Les Ray:And you know what, tracy, it's not even that they call just for the bad stuff. You know how many calls I got. I saw your kid at the gym playing basketball today. He was amazing, you know, and just that warm heart. Well, thank you. You know, like, okay, good, you know, I called my kid up and like, yo, you playing basketball today, don't let me come down there. But I mean, yeah, you know like it really does take a village, you know, you know, to help. So you know that's uh, that's definitely a bonus and a plus.
Sherisse Alexander:So how old is brandon now?
Les Ray:uh, I got a 20 year old son, you know, um, and here's the thing too, right, like they get when they're young, you know, you got this little mini me, like I mentioned before, and they follow you around and you got this partner and it's cool, it's great. And then they get to the 16 year old age or whatever, where they want their own life. Yeah, and all of a sudden, you're the one, all of a sudden you're the one staying at home without you giving you know, they grow up and it's beautiful. I mean, I'm, I'm uh, I'm sad because that connection is lost, but I'm so grateful that you know he's becoming his own person, which is everything that I'm here to teach him. I love him and he's my kid and everything like that.
Les Ray:But the real reason we're parents. You know, I'm not trying to be his best friend. I'm not trying to be as confident. I'm not trying to be his homie in crime. I'm not trying to be his blanket for his'm not trying to be as homely in crime. I'm not trying to be as blanket for his emotions. I'm trying to make him the best person he can be in this world. That's hard and it's going to be like it's going to throw you challenges, so I need to make him strong, because I believe in that.
Sherisse Alexander:So we're going to pivot Pardon me, we're going to pivot away from that for a little bit. You mentioned that you, uh, released a book a couple years ago ago called revenge is for god. Tell us a little bit about that. What is the story? Why did you write it? Actually, you don't have to tell us the whole story, but give us a summary. And why did you write it?
Les Ray:uh, revenge is for god is a book you can find on abizar um, it's a. It's a story about my past a couple years. I went through some troubled um aspects of my life and you know it comes to what we were saying before those. Those three things that happen. You know I was, you know, raised with pretty good genetics. I'm I'm short but I'm happy. You know I'm pretty strong guy and had a great family structure. You know that was that, was that was there. And then the third one was like the outside, the stuff that I can't really control, was extremely traumatic and hard Like it was.
Les Ray:I was dealing with things that no normal uh, maybe normally in a sense where you know we're not talking about the hood or anything like that but no normal um, kids should go through and, um, you know I was through those events. I was shot when I was about 18 years old. I was gunned down in a mall parking lot and it was one of the first in the city, edmonton, alberta. So it kind of like raised, it kind of brought awareness and it raised a lot about what's going on with our youth and our kids and it was like right at the beginning of all the gun violence that was happening in all schools, like that was a very new and scary time where, you know, children can just hurt kids for whatever they were going through and nobody knew what really was going through. Like I couldn't to this day tell you why I got shot. You know, five times I I still couldn't tell you the reason, what would cause someone to do something like that, you know.
Les Ray:But, um, it happened, um, you know, I healed and um, because of that anger, now that whatever that trauma was, uh, exploited on me, I um, you know, in the book it shows, you know me, whatever going back and um, taking that revenge, wanting to take that revenge, wanting to regain my honor and regain my ego. You know it separated me from everything that I thought I loved and thought I was going to be. So now I go back to, you know, doing this horrendous thing by shooting somebody else and dealing with the consequences of that and dealing with the consequences of that. And I think this book especially explores those emotions of pain, sadness, anger, redemption, loss, and I think it beautifully wraps it up. I think it's a great book for young kids to read and parents to read as well. So, you know you can figure out what's going on. I think it's a beautiful book and I suggest you pick it up.
Sherisse Alexander:I'm curious, do you? You think, and you're right, um, it was so and I I understand why you hesitated there for a moment, because in our, from our neighbors to the south, this is every day in the hood. Like this is life, right? This is not. Your story, is not special in the States.
Les Ray:Young black kid gets shot down.
Sherisse Alexander:I know Like oh, whoopty right, but for us it was a big deal. For us it was very traumatic for not ever being exposed to that kind of, that level of violence over, as you so rightly put, you couldn't even say now why it happened. I don't even know that you could have even said within the first month after what happened. But my question is is do you think it's even, do you think that same violence is still a concern or relevant in? I know it is in the States and it's a little different there, but is it still relevant in your community, being Edmonton, alberta?
Les Ray:Well, although I believe the community has grown and maybe even shifted away from like violence, like that with these youths, which is very good, I think with more awareness, more knowledge, we're growing from that. So I do see the change in the shift, but the emotions, these raw emotions, I think there's going to be if you don't know how to deal with them properly. There's going to be other outlets and I do believe in our city and in our communities there's different outlets. Now, when we were young, we didn't have certain community centers and basketball places and we didn't have a lot of things for kids to do. So, you know, and nowadays they got the phones and everything like that, the tablets or the games, and everyone's just so connected.
Les Ray:And I'm not saying that's necessarily better, but what I am saying is like back in our days, we had us and we all met at one spot and we didn't like you, you were going to know about it, and these feelings weren't exchanged through memes and text messages and and little you know, they would just punch you in the face and that's what it was. It was, it was. It was violence, was raw, thick, real emotion. You know I can't, you know I can't deal with bullies in the 90s anymore. It's like they send you memes and it's just like, oh my gosh Right though.
Sherisse Alexander:I mean you talk about emotions being very, very different, and you're right. I mean, we grew up in a time where it felt like there was some kind of physical mix up all the time, and I think that your shooting was just the climax to two, three years of like, just this mounting desire for there to be like this physical output, and there doesn't have to be. So how do you think the youth? Yes, you're talking about having these outlets, but I think another part of that is being able to understand and actually work through emotions and not waiting until you're an adult to try and figure out that, oh, there's something wrong with the way that I'm working through my emotions. Do you with your son? Do you see him like, maybe, asking himself better questions or having better conversations or being more productive in how we work through these unsettling emotions?
Les Ray:Beautiful question and that's the whole thing about. You know, I love being a father because it was just like you know, coming back to my kid and stealing these things that I don't know if most parents want to say, but I was. You know, I wrote a book about it. So I'm willing to say this because I want to save these kids' lives. That's what I'm trying to do. But that's how it starts off. It starts off where it's like, you know, when one group of guys write something, graffiti something on wall that says you know, f you to the other guys, the other guys see it and they graffiti something back and the other guys come and then one guy gets punched out and the other group goes back, punches out another guy, then they start stabbing each other, then it just the violence escalates. Someone gets shot, then we go back and shoot two more, and then they come back and shoot three more, and you know what I mean, and it just escalates and escalates. And I was trying to tell these kids well, let's de-escalate the situation from the first place. You know, let's stop right there, and there's ways and methods of de-escalating situations.
Les Ray:You know, if you look at like some of the best rappers these days and some of the best rappers these days and some of the best guys have gone through a hard struggle and made it to where they have. One of the best tricks they've used was de-escalating situations, like I remember reading this book about. I think it was Jay-Z and he had a beef with a prodigy from Mobb Deep. And you know there was a situation where they were both in New York you know what I mean and there was a situation where Jay-Z was coming to the spot and Prodigy had it set up to like do him in or whatever, whatever. And you know, when they finally meet, jay-z kind of meets up with Prodigy and just kind of, hey, listen, you know, like we're here, we're rappers, I say some stuff, you say some stuff, we're both in the same game.
Les Ray:It just keeps everybody from buying records, we don't need to really beef. And it was kind of like and then you know, you heard that it was kind of like you know what you're right. Like we don't really need to really beef, like you know what I mean, like let's just live our lives. And it was just that bear is going to attack. Why poke a bear? It's pretty simple, but there's a lot of people who won't just get that.
Sherisse Alexander:Well, I think that one of the things that I've tried to really, I think, embody in communications that I have with people my siblings, my kids, my kids, my staff, like my part anybody for that matter when there's conflict right, Because I think part of the challenge, what the biggest part of any of these things are, is like your feelings get hurt or you feel disrespected, Like if we just if we take everything away and make it really, really simple, it's your feelings get hurt, and your feelings get hurt and your feelings get hurt because there's a, there's a story that we're telling ourselves, right, in this case that you're using.
Sherisse Alexander:It's like you know, somebody disrespected me and I can't let that go unanswered, because then other people are going to disrespect me, right?
Sherisse Alexander:And I think that the first key in any human interaction when there's conflict is to really try and shift our perspective into one of understanding, right? So seek first to understand and so, like in that great example that you used about Jay-Z and Prodigy from Mob Deep, it's like he can see very clearly what the challenge is, right, like we're both out here, we're both hustling, we're both slaying and we're both trying to, like you know, do what we're trying to do and we can't let our image be tarnished, but like there's more than enough pie for both of us. So why don't I just highlight the fact that there's more than enough pie? And thankfully we're dealing with somebody who also didn't want to die over stupid shit. So I think, if we approach these challenges or these uncomfortable interactions with people, understanding that when they inflict and I'm saying this in quotation marks inflict pain on us. It is really really coming from a place of their own unhealed pain or conflict right 100%, 100%.
Les Ray:And that's the thing. We're all in our ego. Right, you insult me and it hurts my ego and I got to say something back. But if we really just separate ourselves from that ego and just like, is that person really insulting me or are they coming from a place of pain and and and and suffering themselves? Like really, that's a really great question and I get it and I like the way you put it.
Les Ray:Yeah, you know, I already believe that's what these bullies are. Yeah, just maybe they have parents whenever they come home and they take it on on the little guy. If you know what that bully is going through, it's easier to deal with him. But we got to be careful with that too, because there's a difference between insulting and then it gets to a point where you let that assault go too far. You get to a point where you could be in trouble, where now you're getting really bullied and now they're thinking it's fun to hurt and punch and kick you. So there's got to be a level of of, of, uh, shielding from excessive bullying and excessive talking smack right, because you don't want to get it to too far where it becomes a traumatized thing.
Sherisse Alexander:It's really for sure and it's really easy for me to say that, because my experience is not one where, you know, I have to be bullied by anyone, and the reality is it's like I'm not making a case for allowing abuse to happen, either physical or verbal or emotional or any of those things.
Sherisse Alexander:But you know, you and I started a conversation at the very beginning of this and we were talking about well, we started talking about this book that I was reading, which is called the Buddha in your Mirror, and, interestingly enough, I love how these things happen in my life. I call this a synchronicity. So I went to the yoga studio around here and I'm waiting for my yoga class. I'm sitting in the little cafe area and this lady thinks that I'm her friend and I'm like oh, I'm not your friend, but we can be friends. And she says okay, I know, I felt like I was five, but what was really interesting is that I sit down and we strike up a conversation and I've never had this happen to me before but this lady says to me she's like I'm a Buddhist.
Sherisse Alexander:I was like in my world it was like ding, ding, ding, lights started going off and bells and whistles like talk to this lady, Right. So I'm like I was like, oh, I'm super fascinated. I'm like I would love to learn more about Buddhism. And what made that interesting is I've never, ever, ever, sat down with somebody and literally in the first five sentence of a conversation, they tell me what their spirituality or faith beliefs are. That's why I took it as a sign, because I'm just like I didn't even ask, but this lady's just right out identifying herself as a Buddhist, anyways, anyways.
Sherisse Alexander:So we lead down this path.
Sherisse Alexander:She gives me this book, and this book is really quite fascinating and a lot of the things that this book talks about or the theory around Buddhism, is a lot of the ideas I've already kind of bought into.
Sherisse Alexander:But one of the things and this is why we were talking about manifesting, because one of the things that this book is talking about is that it's part of the power of being Buddhist is that you start to understand and recognize that every single experience that you have in your life you are 100% responsible for. 100% responsible for. That is a tough one for people to swallow, because it means because people don't like people. Really, I don't want to say they love it, but people are really addicted to that victim mindset where it's like so-and-so did something to me, so-and-so did something to me, okay. But we can always choose a different experience, and so I. I think the reason why I'm bringing this up is because we were talking like we're talking about all these experiences that you've had, right, these challenging ones and the ones that and you were talking about having all these problems, and so I posed this question what, if what would happen if you actually wrapped your head around to the fact? Or maybe I should ask you first do you believe that?
Les Ray:that every experience you're having or have had, you are 100% responsible for you know what?
Sherisse Alexander:Yes, I do believe it. I don't want to. I don't want to believe it. I really don't. Let me ask the question why don't you want to believe it? Why don't you want to believe that? Let me ask the question why don't you?
Les Ray:want to believe it. Why don't you want to believe that? I mean? And great question. But because you know things happen like that. Third thing I was saying where things happen outside your realm, you know that you can't control. You can't control. Sometimes you get mugged on the street. Did I manifest that? You know? You know, you know what I'm saying. Bad things happen. Did I manifest that? Did I really wake up and something gets stolen? Did I manifest that?
Sherisse Alexander:I think yes, because we have choice in everything that we do, and this book used a really great example that you will understand. Do you remember that movie Rain man, with Dustin Hoffman and Tom Cruise?
Les Ray:Vaguely.
Sherisse Alexander:Vaguely. Do you remember? There's this part in the movie where they're going to Vegas because because the rain man, dustin Hoffman, he's, he's autistic but he's really really great with numbers. But anyways, the point of the yes, so they're at the airport, they're trying to figure out, like, which flight are they going to take to go to Vegas? And he will not get on any of these planes because he's like just telling all these stats of all these planes that have gotten in accidents, so on and so forth. The only airline that has never been in an accident apparently was Qantas Airlines and they're not going to Vegas. So the point that the book is making is like you do have choice. You have choice if you fly. You have choice if you take a train. You have a choice if you get in a car. So in the example of like mugging, it's like well, you had a choice.
Sherisse Alexander:If we slowed down enough and actually listened to our intuition, which is always speaking to us, you would have said okay, should I walk home, or should I take the bus, or should I call a ride, or should I go this different, like you've all. You've had those moments. You're a driver, you're out there all the time. Do you have those moments when you're like I should go left instead of right?
Les Ray:I'm sure, but I think I think what's the confusing part about it is like I think what we're saying is like you know the deescalating thing that we were talking about too. Sure, I have the, I have the. I can deescalate this situation. I have a little bit of control over that. De-escalate the situation. I see the guy, we can talk it out. We can, we can find some other way. I can try that.
Les Ray:But there are situations where you, like you, wake up in the morning and your vehicle's missing. What, what do you? What do you do? You know what I mean? Like that's, that's something that just happened. Um, you know something bad that just happened and you can't tell me I'm sleeping at night. You know something bad that just happened and you can't tell me I'm sleeping at night, thinking, like you know, I'm calling this on. You know what I mean, it just happened and you have to deal with it. So I guess what I'm saying is sometimes bad things need to happen and there's no way you can get out of that control, of controlling it. But these things need to happen for you to rebound, get stronger, get better or find out ways to deal with it or deal with the problem.
Sherisse Alexander:Remember what I said about manifesting right Before we started this conversation and I think you nailed it with where you were going, which is you have to be careful how you ask for these things, right, because you don't know what your soul journey is.
Sherisse Alexander:Right, there's a conscious idea, but there's like at your core, like, unless you're really tuned in, you really don't know what you came here to experience, right? So there's lots of books where people will look at, and I bet that when you get to the end of your life whenever that date is and you look back, you'll be able to see and make sense of all the things that happened and have gratitude for them, because you will understand how they were weaving you along this path to have this experience that you wanted. So instead. So that's what I mean when I say, like we got to be careful how we ask for these things, because you could say something like oh shit, I really want a new, new car. And so you go to sleep, as you said, and the divine goes well, let's get a new car next week.
Les Ray:You know what I mean and you're angry about it.
Sherisse Alexander:But now you have to go get a new car, because your car was stolen in the middle of the night. But you're getting a new car. It's what you asked for, so that's right right, right, right. That's why I said to you when I was asking. I was very clear bring it to me in the right way no, that and fair enough.
Les Ray:Fair enough, right. You overcome these challenges and problems and difficulties altogether to try to strive for something better or at least come with, come to terms and comfort with them. Not every situation is going to be maybe better. You know, we're all growing older, which means we're all rotting faster, right? So I mean, and we got to live with that. I'm not going to get my youth back, okay, that's cool. You know what I mean. But I, I could be content with where I am and what I'm, what I'm doing now, or make whatever reality I'm in bet the best I can possibly be absolutely I love that, so I'm glad that we agree, then, that we are responsible 100 for our experience.
Sherisse Alexander:That's a tough one for people. They don't. They don't like it for all the reasons that you just said.
Les Ray:They can't let go.
Sherisse Alexander:Yeah, well, you know why Because then it means exactly what you said, Like what do you mean I have to take then responsibility for this really shitty situation that I'm in.
Les Ray:It's so-and-so's fault. It's so-and-so's fault.
Sherisse Alexander:So as long as I get to like push the blame outside of me, that I'm not actually responsible for it. But if I have to say that, oh, I 100% am responsible for this, then you are 100% responsible for it and you actually have to do something about it. Right, if you want to change it?
Les Ray:Yes, right, right, right, right. And you, you know, and it's sad that you know, there are people out there who just can't take that responsibility, you know, can't, can't put that on themselves, can't take that blame. And again, you know, it's um, it's a quote I, I remember here one of my favorites um, if there's a problem, are you mad enough to deal with the help or are you destined with the darkness of concealing it all to yourself? I love that. Yeah, you know, be a man, handle your problems or just don't say nothing about them and close them in and keep them aside, but you're going to deal with them one way or the other. Yeah, you know, externally or internally, you're going to deal with it.
Sherisse Alexander:Yeah, you know, externally or internally, you're going to deal with it. Yeah, and I love that you said that, because I don't think that enough people really realize and understand that, like I'm a real strong believer that all disease, illness, ailments are all they begin like right here, mental imbalance and emotional imbalance and spiritual imbalance. Right, and I don't mean that to disparage anyone. I wholeheartedly believe that we all have mental health issues. It's how much are we sharing is the only question that I pose, right.
Sherisse Alexander:And so when people keep that stuff, like and I'm not saying that you got to like get on a stage and tell everybody all the shit that you're going through, like that's not what I'm saying, but I'm just saying that like these unprocessed emotions really create discord in our body. And so I've really been trying to like make a study and a science of like looking at myself, my body, what I'm feeling, and really trying to figure out like where is there discord in my life that I can personally adjust so I can create less dis-ease and more ease within that experience? So what's one of the things that you do to? Like are you in tune with your body? Like that?
Les Ray:You know I've had since, since, okay, so when I was young, I, I, you know, I something. I was shot four times right and not only did I deal with like and I was like you know I was, I was, I had, you know I was fast, I was one of the fastest people in the school. I played football, like I was a young strapping hunking athlete. You know I was the best of what it could be. You know, okay, I was sexy sexy people don't say it oh listen, I'm just.
Les Ray:I'm too sexy for this, too sexy.
Sherisse Alexander:Oh my gosh People, please do not mind this man.
Les Ray:He's known me for like 30 years. So he's clearly very comfortable. But, like, what I was saying is like, yeah, no, I got. You know, I got shot and one day I got shot and all that came to a halt. That you know that. That you know that confidence, that sexiness, oh, I couldn't even walk again, you know.
Les Ray:And dealing with those situations or the emotions, like okay, so what do I do? You know, and you know, fast forward like I never got my body to that perfection. But I'll tell you what I didn't do. You know I didn't sit here and you know, quit my job and quit my life and, you know, say, oh, I can't do this and I can't do that, I'll just be wheelchair bound forever. No, no, no, I wouldn't do that to myself. I push myself to make my body and whatever as best as I can possibly be. You know I can run. I might look handicapped running, but I can do it. You know what I mean. So when you say I'm comfortable with my body, yes, but I still got nerve damage, you know I still got some. You know there's some things I'd love to fix and make better, but I'm comfortable with who I am in my body.
Sherisse Alexander:That's great. Honestly, that's so great Cause that's. I won't say it's a challenge for other people. I'll say it's been a challenge for me through my own life, but that's okay.
Les Ray:That's a different story for a different podcast well, yeah, yeah, you know, quickly I'll say, like, you know, some people uh, this is their quote, I don't think I'll get it right but, um, you know, some people push the world away so far because they've been hurt so much, so they push the world away as far as they possibly can, um. So then they push the world away, but they know the worst pain that could have is being ignored. So then they develop a lifestyle or some type of imagery or some type of thing that says, hey, look at me, but don't get too close't touch. So, yeah, you know, you know people want to be seen and people want to be loved, but it means me if you're not taking care of yourself. I don't know where I was going.
Sherisse Alexander:Maybe I was ranting well, I don't actually think that you were ranting. I think that what you're saying and correct me if I'm wrong is like, really, at the end of the day and I think I said this on an early episode is that, when you strip it all away, I think we all want the same thing, which is love, acceptance and a sense of belonging and fulfillment fulfillment. And so part of that, though, is that you still have to deal with like, unfortunately, we all have them the childhood wounds, right, like everybody's got them. There's nothing you can do to like you. Just you can't.
Sherisse Alexander:Unless you were, you can't even say that you can't have them, because the reality is is that if you grew up in like complete isolation, you wouldn't be a fully functioning human being.
Sherisse Alexander:You need contact in order to be a fully functioning human being, and you can't be a fully functioning human being without having childhood wounds. So the point is, is like, when people are like, yeah, I don't have any, and I used to be, that person was like I had a great childhood like nothing happened, but then I realized that shit was happening in my life, and I really didn't know where it was coming from, so I had to go back in time and figure out where did these stories come from? That I was telling myself, and I think that ultimately, on this journey, this path that we're all on, we are looking for that connection without getting hurt, is really what it boils down to, right, because you said, like how do I keep everyone away but have the attention, because I don't want to be alone, but that it doesn't work. You got to lean in, you got to be willing to be hurt.
Les Ray:Yes, you got to be vulnerable, you got to be open to it, even though it's gonna hurt. You know, and, and that's it's a sad reality, you know it's a sad, it's it's, but it's so beautiful and strong again. You know, like I got. You know it's like asking that girl, that girl you really have a crush on the first time out, and she rejects you. I mean, it hurts, it hurts, but the next time you do it, I mean, oh man. And then when that wind comes, when you get the one you want and it works, oh man beautiful.
Sherisse Alexander:Well, I think, though, that, so I wanted to ask you this question, because you said that you know, you, if we accept that it's just going to hurt, then and I think I said that as well that, like we're going to, we're going to have these experiences, that that they hurt. Is it that the experience actually hurts, or is there, like a story that we're actually telling ourself, that hurts?
Les Ray:Well, no, and here's where my thinking is different from a lot of people. I like pain, some people like love, some people like love, some people like love and lust and everything. I mean, I kind of have an affinity, I have an affection for pain and the way I say that, because you know pain is beautiful, you know it teaches us so many things about who you are and what you're capable of, what you're ready to take like, how strong you are. And if you understand why there's pain in your life mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually and you combat all those four elements of that pain in those areas, you will, I guarantee you will have all the love and love and money and material, all that's possessed, all those things are just possession. Those are the after things.
Les Ray:After, after thoughts of dealing with the pain, you know, and your body's response to pain, when you have it in your body, you know, with everything else, is telling you something, it's warning you of something, it's great response system to everything going on. If you just open up and listen to it. Most people run away as fast as they possibly can because they don't want anyone to hurt, oh ouch. And they run away and never deal with the pain. Some people even make it worse. They just compound it by not changing or not listening to your body's internal energy clock that's telling you stop it. This is not good for you, or they just don't want to listen to it right, like they sometimes might not hear it right.
Sherisse Alexander:The truth is it's like we talk about red pill, blue pill, but the reality is and that's. You know I'm making a connection to the matrix. But the truth is is like, sometimes it's like do you want to know? Right, because you can't. Once you understand something, you can't unknow it.
Sherisse Alexander:And there are a lot of people who are rolling around in life or rolling through life on complete autopilot and things are literally happening on loop, right, all the bad things, and they they don't stop to think okay, it doesn't matter where I go, it doesn't matter what I do, it doesn't matter what I do, it doesn't matter who I date, it doesn't matter how much money I make, none of this stuff matters. It's always the same story and it takes a certain level of awareness to stop and go. Well, maybe the problem is me and a certain amount of courage. Is the truth right? Because the whole amount of time that you've been like blaming other people for your negative experience, it takes courage to be able to stand in the mirror and accept responsibility for the life that you are creating. And, man, when you start looking in that mirror and all the shadow. It's not fun, like, let's just be honest, it is not fun.
Les Ray:It's not fun at all. No, no, but I mean, yeah, like, instead of instead of like running from your shadows and closing back that door, maybe sometimes you should have tea with them. You just write them out a little bit at a time, just sip some tea and talk to them. Maybe they're not so bad. You know, maybe they're trying to tell you something.
Sherisse Alexander:I love that.
Sherisse Alexander:That's the way I look at it.
Les Ray:I love, that that's the way I look at it. I love that you put it like that Sit down and sip some tea. I would just invite them in and say you know what? I want to beat somebody up. You know what? Come inside. You know let's, let's have some tea. Why? Why do you want to beat somebody up? Tell me what is it new and you know what I don't know? Maybe you should just talk to your shadows and just get to know them a little bit better. They won't hurt as much.
Sherisse Alexander:You know, anthony and I actually had this conversation. He's a guest as well, and we talked about this, right, where we said, okay, like what's your? Because it's kind of part of like peeling back the layers on the very things that you're running away from and so often. Tell me, if you have this experience where, like, something will happen and you'll be upset and you'll look at it and somebody triggered you, right, they did something. They didn't even know that they triggered you and you're pissed.
Sherisse Alexander:But then you pause to ask yourself better questions and maybe some of those questions are like okay, well, like, why am I really angry? Right. And then you tell yourself a story Okay, I'm angry because, um, this person did this thing and they were being so disrespectful to me, okay, but were they like? Did they actually like? Were they? And then you're like well, no, they were just sharing and communicating information, okay, so why did you think they were being? And when you go through this process of like asking these questions, you realize that, oh, it's not what this person did. It's some story I have on loop in my subconscious that continues to play, where I think I'm less than what I actually am. I'm looking right now for something cause I want to share this with you out of this book, cause I think that it'll resonate with you. But before I share this thing out of this book, what else are you working on? Now that you've released your book Revenges for God, what's next?
Les Ray:Oh well, going back to what you said, first of all, when someone gives you a threat, the first thing you want to do is assess who's giving you this threat or who's giving you this. You know this. Who's giving you this, whatever that they're sending you this negative energy. Assess who they are and you know once you take. Assess who they are and maybe you understand where they're coming from, and then you can respond. But are they even capable of handling or extending out some?
Les Ray:Some people say something like I'll beat you up. And you know, you know you got this 300-pound guy telling you you're going to beat you up. I mean, you couldn't even catch me if I ran. They fall down. You know what I mean. So it's just kind of like just taking that step back and just thinking about it. You know, there's so many ways of handling problems, you know, and not everything has to have a fist response, even though, though, yes, put it in your arsenal at all times. But with that being said, and then I'm great that that that's the lead-up question to what you just asked me.
Les Ray:Yes, I am working on a series right now, uh, called cardiac arrest. It's a comic book series. I created and wrote it myself. It's a. It's an interesting story about a group of freedom fighters from 100 years in the future who come back into the past to kidnap, who come 400 years in the past to kidnap Yan Geisha, to bring her to the future to help them assassinate seven elites that took control of societal institutions, which include money, government, religion, media, medicine, war and technology.
Sherisse Alexander:Oh, wow, yes.
Les Ray:The big ones, the big one, the big, big topics, which I like. Once again, that pain that we were talking about, the things that everyone's shy away from, like this, what humanity needs to do is come together and start, you know, start fighting the oppressors and all that type of stuff. That's. That's what this comic book is is, uh, the themes of this comic book touch on. So it's a great story. Um, if I'm gonna be starting my kickstarter soon, I'll be on kickstarter. Look for that. Um, you can help fund it. Uh, so we can make it a graphic novel and do beautiful things with this story. Um, it's a very culturally diverse story. It brings elements that you know we don't really want to see, but it's there, but you know, respectively, 100 years into the future. So that's what I'm working on. You can follow me on Team Cardiac Rest Facebook. Follow my Facebook. I'm sure all the links will be in the video.
Sherisse Alexander:When's it going to be done?
Les Ray:Well, right now it is in currently in production. Um, it's like that's a good question. We are trying to raise funds to get the graphic novel done, so we're working on that and that's all part of the kickstarter. So once that um happens and goes through um, we just take it step by step. So it's hard for me to give you the exact answer of when the whole complete project is going to be done. But right now, you know, we're just we're just working away here trying to get everything. The first issue is finished and it's ready to purchase, so it will first be viewed on the Kickstarter and then, you know, brought into the community. So look for that.
Sherisse Alexander:Okay, well, thank you so much. We, we will look for that. Um, I couldn't find what I was looking for, so I'll have to, like, post it. Um, I mean, I can find it, but it's like in a different book, a different Buddhist book, but here it was this idea that there's 10 places. I'll say that we dwell in the conscious mind. There are hell, hunger, animality, anger, humanity, heaven, learning, revitalization, bada, vista and Buddhahood, and most of us dwell in those lower six being hell, hunger, animality, anger, humanity and heaven, and so it's a really interesting exercise. I'll I'm not going to dive too much into this, but the whole point of me bringing that up is, uh, you know, as we continue to talk about, you know, the human experience and interacting with people cause me, on my own personal journey here, I would love to think, and as I was reading this, I'm like, oh yeah, I'm totally at like, the learning and realization and Zen zone place, like, that's me a hundred percent. That's that's what I was saying, that's some ego there.
Les Ray:That's a lot of ego.
Sherisse Alexander:It wasn't until because it was and I admit it like we have an ego and ego is healthy you just, you need to have an ego. It just it's. You got to know when to like put it in check. But what's really interesting is, as they described this, they were talking about how, on an average day, and I realized, you know, because they were talking about somebody who, like, wakes up in the morning and they're like calm, and then they go do something and they're instantly angry and then something else happens and they're in like animality mode. And I just had this day, literally three days ago, where I woke up and I was all Zen and like something happened and it sent me into a tailspin and by the end of the day, I'm like I did it again. Life, exactly, we're always going to have problems. They're always going to be there. So how do I just navigate them and I'm probably one of the least reactive people I know but how do I navigate these challenges that come up without like weeding and bobbing and going through these crazy emotions over things that, like really are not occurring? So that's the journey I'm on right now.
Sherisse Alexander:For those of you who are not paying attention, I'm reading a book called the Buddha in your Mirror. Yes, I'm all over the place with the faith and spirituality because I'm on a journey of discovery. That's what I'm doing. So with that in mind, that's why I'm turning to you, les. Do you want to share a little bit about your journey with faith and or spirituality? Do you want to share a little bit about your?
Les Ray:journey with faith and or spirituality. Oh, you know, the thing with spirituality is it's a, it's real, it's personal, it can be shared, but it is personal. I like to think it's God's mission for what you have to accomplish or learn. And a lot of people don't get that spirituality, they just think it's just you know, peace and be left alone. No, no, no, no, no. Those that, that's, that's what that, once again, that's that's opening up that closet and bringing some, maybe some of those, maybe some of those demons are here to help you, you know, and and we really need to tap into that, so that spirituality, I think is, uh, is personal, but I also think, think it's your mission of what you need to do, and I believe myself I have missions to accomplish in that spiritual journey. So to me does it look like all like you know, peace be with you and flowers, and, and you know, like everyone, Are you mocking me?
Sherisse Alexander:Are you mocking me?
Les Ray:I don't know if you haven't seen this movie, one of the greatest movies, the greatest comedy movies. It's called Airplane, made in like the 70s or so old. There's this pilot who walks through the airport and every Buddhist and monk and priest hey, you want a flower? Hey, donate to her. And he turns into an actress and he's just punching out the Buddhist and drop, kicking the priest and everything like get out of here.
Les Ray:But yeah, like you know everyone and I'm not mocking everyone, because everyone's on their own personal journey, just like you said but you know everyone's coming around giving me flowers and peace, be with you and love the world. And just you know, stop back and oppression will just go away. And everyone just hold you and love the world. And just you know, stop back and oppression will just, it'll just go away. And everyone just hold hands and kumbaya like no, no, that's not the way I feel that we're going to get that zen that we're looking for, and sometimes it involves going into the trenches, sometimes it involves batting together, sometimes it involves putting up, knowing how to put up those boundaries and saying, no, this, this is not going to happen anymore and we're going to stand strong and we're going to make sure that this doesn't happen anymore.
Sherisse Alexander:Sometimes, sometimes those don't need to be synonymous. You can have a boundary without it being a violent one. You can stand up for yourself without violence, right, like yeah, so I mean without violence, Right, Like yeah, so I mean this is, I trust me.
Les Ray:I always get triggered when people are like, because I'm always like love and light. Well, it's.
Sherisse Alexander:I mean maybe, but I just I don't expect it in my experience, like I don't roll through life. So when I experienced it like I'm actually legitimately hurt because I don't roll through life expecting people to hurt me, I actually expect in life that I'm going to go out and meet people and see the light in them and that you're not going to. So obviously I've had experience where that hasn't happened. But I think the beauty in that is that how do I get myself back to that? I would say to me all the time you and your rosy colored glasses. And I would say I'm going to keep wearing these rosy colored glasses because somebody has to. If everybody started taking off the rosy colored glasses and thinking the world was shit and hell in a handbasket, well I think it would look a lot worse than it does today. So I'm going to continue with my flowers and my rainbows and my love and light. Thank you very much.
Les Ray:You know what, and maybe I should take a drop. Maybe I should drop it a notch. You know what we need your love and light. We need that smile. We need that. We need people shining in who they are. We need all. I guess my problem is that we need it all and we need it all to work together to figure out what we want. We need to start asking ourselves those tough questions what do we want as a collective and as humanity? What do we want? You know, and you know we need to bring all these elements together to ask those questions and figure out what it is that we're searching for.
Sherisse Alexander:And you know the truth is is like there's. You're right, we do need it all, because you can't know and, as I say to people, like, as much as I try to vibe as high as possible, you can't know a high vibe without experiencing a low vibe, like it's not possible to know one without the other. So you must have both. That's what the balance is. So I think the question is is how do we bring it back more into a harmonious balance? That's, I think what we're feeling is that it's grossly imbalanced at this point in time.
Les Ray:Beautifully said. Yeah, I agree with you. How do we bring it back into a harmonious balance between everybody, all nations, cultures, races, men and women? I feel like everyone's out of discord right now and it's just like I'm a human being. I want exactly what you want. You know I'm a human male. I want, I want to. You know, I want to love, I want to live free. I know I want to help my people, I want to raise my family. That's, that's really all that we want. Why is that hard to achieve in 2024? You know? Like, why is that so hard to achieve? What I mean? I can't. I can't get water, I can't get. You know what I'm saying. Like, why is that hard to achieve? This should be easier as we grow as a, as a culture, as a people. It should be easier, not harder well, I think the answer.
Sherisse Alexander:I don't want to oversimplify it, but I think that it it is out of all of the same things that we had already said, right, like? I don't think to oversimplify it, but I think that it is out of all of the same things that we'd already said, right, like I don't think that anybody goes through life Like, if you think about when people are born, nobody's born bad Babies just want to survive, right, so they cry, they whatever, and those programs or those ideas that are ingrained in us from young is where it really begins, right? The scarcity mindset, the lack, the not having enough, like not being enough, the value. Some of it is generational trauma. So the first thing is that you need to be able to look in the mirror and say, like you know, we always want to blame it on these big institutions, but at the end of the day, the big institutions are run by men. They are run by human beings, and human beings who clearly, obviously, have their own unhealed pain, wounds, all of these things that all the money and power in the world is not going to change. So at the end of the day, it starts with addressing those things.
Sherisse Alexander:I personally think it is shifting and maybe it's just because I feel like my circle is shifting, because when you, you know, I think I'm just vibing in a different way. So I just think there's more of an awareness and I think that people are really genuinely trying to show up differently, be differently, and I think it always. So my thought on how we change it is you just worry about you and you do, and I don't mean it in a selfish way. I mean that when you shift, the people around you will shift. They won't be able to help it. They'll either shift as in leave your experience, or they'll shift because you're vibing different and so they'll. I've witnessed it when I shift, the people around me shift. So if we focus on ourselves, that's how we help.
Les Ray:It's that beautifully said and that just showed me and you're right, like that, like so I, I created this art company that I was going to say. So I mean, I just want to get this out. One of the things I want to say is that you can help bring that collective together. Is music, art. Be who you are, be who you, find out who you are and show that world. So I created this company called Saviorself Studios. You know, and save yourself is one word, and because I believe the philosophy we need going forward is helping save yourself is one word, and because I believe that the philosophy we need going forward is is helping save yourself, and I'm s-a-v-i-o-r-s-e-l-f as one word.
Sherisse Alexander:Okay, you know so I was trying to like put it together that's a pun, it's a play on words, you know.
Les Ray:But but you need, you need it, you need people, need to save yourself. You know we're going around trying to do this and trying to do that, but but you're hurting, you're healing, you can't do nothing from you and you're you're coming from a place of pain and anguish and hurt. Save yourself, man.
Sherisse Alexander:And then, you know, reach out and try to save everybody else and that's actually what this book talks about is, and that's why it's important that people don't take that out of context. Right, the save yourself is not a selfish, egoic base Like I'm gonna get mine. It's. I'm going to work on healing me first and then, when I start healing myself, I'll be in a lighter space that that will just permeate, like it'll just people will feel that energy and they'll they'll want to, they'll want to know, like why are you so happy? Like they will ask like what's going on with you? Like you feel different, like things are different. Um, and then I think that the other part of that is is like what we're doing right here Share your story because you don't know who's going to hear your story and have some hope instilled or some faith. I mean, let's face it, les, you've been through some serious shit in your life and you have a really good life, not an okay life.
Sherisse Alexander:You have a really good life, thanks.
Les Ray:You're welcome. You know what? Thank you Actually, genuinely. Thank you, yeah, and yeah, thank you actually genuinely. Thank you, um, yeah, um and yeah, and and. With that being said, it's like I feel like it's my mission, right, I'm here, like I, I made it through some of the roughest, toughest things that you could ever imagine and and I'm not I'm not saying that to you know um, try to make myself look any way, but I made it here. I'm here, I'm, I'm alive, I'm well. And if I don't help, now that I saved myself going through what I went through, if I don't help other people like what I'm, I just wasted. I just wasted all this energy, all this good energy. You know, so I'm writing books, you know, and you know i'm'm trying to share that. So people was about, you know, just always showing up as your authentic self, because you don't know who's supposed to actually receive that.
Sherisse Alexander:And if you're so scared and like worried and like hiding parts of yourself, then you're actually not fulfilling your mission. So you were actually supposed to go through all that you were supposed to go through for the reason that you said, which is like if I can help the youth out there understand like there's different ways to deal with these challenges, so on and so forth, like that was part of your contract or your goal in this lifetime. So show up as yourself so that you don't hold yourself back. Part of your job is to be authentic. So, in wrapping this up, what is one juicy thing that you would like to share with the listeners today? Yeah, like a, like a something, like a mantra, like your, your go-to piece of advice at this stage of your life life.
Les Ray:You know, we hit some really good topics today and I've said a lot of deep things about things. But one thing I would say my mantra about this life today is you know, don't give up. Is. You know, don't give up. Follow your dreams, you know, and it doesn't have to be in a situation where it has to be like like we talked about the manifestation. You know, like, I want this, I want that Like follow your dreams. What are you going to do to get it? What are you going to sacrifice to make that happen? Follow, like and pursue that. You know, don't just stop. Pursue it.
Les Ray:And and I would love to say this for everybody out there, it's going to be tough. Following your genes is going to be rough. There's going to be people that are going to stop you every angle. They're going to try to get you emotionally, mentally, physically, financially, everything. You're going to go through it. They're going to put you down any way they possibly can. And trust me as a, as a survivor of all of it, do it anyway. Everyone's going to have their opinion. Do it anyway. Don't let anybody stop you. You know, make your dreams come true.
Sherisse Alexander:Thank you. Thank you for sharing your story, thank you for. Oh yes, it's my pleasure I've known you for like seriously 30 years.
Les Ray:Oh so, this is your dream. Stop it here we are this guy and his ego like I am so honored, oh my gosh you're right.
Sherisse Alexander:This is so my dream. But, in seriousness, thank you so much for joining, for sharing. I loved having you. I think I would love to have you back again. I think you've got great energy and I love talking to you. You've always had some very. Actually, I thought this would be a little more combative than it actually was, but maybe you and I actually have a lot more in common than I originally thought. You're a kumbaya, I don't rap, rap, rap, rap, rap, but hey, it works Anyways thank you.
Sherisse Alexander:Yeah, thank you Right on. Anyways, thank you, thank you right on. Thank you so much for joining us today as I sat down and talked to Les about his experience throughout life to this point his experiences raising a son and, of course, as always, we dabbled a little off course and got into some other interesting topics. If you enjoyed the content that you heard today, then please feel free to subscribe to this podcast on either Apple Podcasts or Spotify, and until next time, take care Bye.