Your Collective - Mind, Body & Spiritual Balance
Your Collective is a space where we explore the ways in which we can calm and quiet the mind, so that we can tune into and listen to our bodies and ultimately listen to the whisper of what our soul desires. How do we connect the trifecta so that they can work together in harmony and unity?
Your Collective - Mind, Body & Spiritual Balance
Navigating Change with Purposeful Planning
Unlock the secrets to effective goal setting and accountability with our special guest, Helen Nguyen, a seasoned coach and NLP practitioner. Together, we explore a transformative approach to goal setting that emphasizes the importance of the process and celebrating small victories. Helen shares invaluable insights on how to maintain motivation by focusing on incremental steps rather than just the end goal, preventing the all-too-common pitfall of giving up too soon.
Our conversation highlights the art of balancing goals with processing steps, offering practical time management techniques like time blocking to enhance productivity. We dive into the necessity of a flexible framework that adapts to changing interests and priorities, stressing the unpredictable nature of the journey. Helen illustrates how energy and guidance are crucial in reaching one's objectives. Community support and openness to change are underscored as vital elements in personal development.
Procrastination often stands as a barrier to achieving goals, but fear not, as we delve into effective strategies to overcome it. Discover how breaking down tasks into manageable priorities and employing visual tools like Post-it Notes can make a significant difference. We also discuss the dynamic nature of goal setting, emphasizing the importance of flexibility and adaptability. Through personal anecdotes, including the journey of buying a home, we demonstrate how embracing change can lead to unexpected opportunities and growth, all while keeping the journey enjoyable and rewarding.
Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, wherever you might be when you're listening to this. My name Sherisse Alexander , your host Your . On today's episode, I'll be joined again with or by Helen Nguyen, coach and NLP practitioner, with Embrace Your Power Coaching. Given the time of year, we're getting to the end of the year, there's only a few weeks left and I don't know about you, but this time of year becomes a time of reflection, looking back and seeing okay, what goals did I set and how did I do in achieving them. And then, after doing that assessment, I will pivot and think about what it is that I want to accomplish for the new year, and that new year, believe it or not, is 2025. It's right around the corner.
Sherisse Alexander:So Helen, and I will be talking a little bit about goal setting, maybe in a little bit of a different way, and holding yourself accountable and checking back and assessing how you've actually done or how do you keep yourself on track with achieving those goals. So, without further delay, let us dive in. Welcome, welcome, welcome, Helen, today. I'm so happy you're here. Thank you for joining me on the your Collective podcast.
Helen Ngyuen:Thank you so much for having me. It's an honor.
Sherisse Alexander:Thank you so much for having me. It's an honor, yes. So before we actually dive into today's episode, which is all about goal setting, what I would like you to do is to tell me if you could have any superpower in the world what would your superpower be?
Helen Ngyuen:My superpower would be able to conserve time Able to, I find. To conserve time because as we get older, time goes by so fast, super, duper fast. So if we can just press, you know, the slow-mo button, just you know, periodically, I think that would be able to help favor some of those memories. So, do you remember?
Sherisse Alexander:that movie with Adam Sandler where he was given that remote and he was like speeding up time. He was like, oh, this is boring, I'm going to fast forward, but he never actually slowed it down. So I want to make sure.
Helen Ngyuen:So you would actually just like slow everything right down, so it didn't. Would you hit pause? Or just like slow everything right down. Just slow down, not pause, because energy doesn't move that way, nor does human beings. We always have to be in motion. But there are moments in time in life when I think back. But there are moments in time in life when I think back. You know there are times where you felt like time was slower right, like bringing back to childhood, for instance, you know, going over summer holidays. You thought that was a long time.
Sherisse Alexander:It's true.
Helen Ngyuen:But it was only two months. But now when we think about two months, it's like it goes back so fast. You know what I mean.
Sherisse Alexander:Very true so.
Helen Ngyuen:I would, I would, I would slow some of that time down, because you know we always wish that. Oh, I wish I had more time, or I wish I had more time with this person or that person. You know what I mean. So one of my superpowers would be if I could slow down time.
Sherisse Alexander:That's actually a good one. I'm gonna. I'm gonna think about that. So today we are chatting about goal setting because we are getting near the end of the year and I think most people use the final quarter of the regular calendar to say, okay, what have I done and what am I going to do in the future, in the next year that's coming in 2025? Can you believe? It is around the corner? Oh my gosh, I can't even believe it. So what I guess I would post you first and foremost is like where do people start? What if they're new to goal setting? And I think you and I've talked about different ways to goal set. Let's start with that. What is a different way that people can approach goal setting that might not be so traditional?
Helen Ngyuen:Well, traditionally people would set a goal, what their outcome should be like, and then they work toward that outcome, but what they're missing is the process of it. So, yes, it's important to have an outcome as a goal, but you also have to give yourself the process and time. So it's great to dream big, to think your audacious goal and have it really big so that you can work towards it. Even if you don't hit it, you're further ahead than if you never thought you could get there. But if you can actually narrow it down to process, like different phases to get to the goal, that is something that a lot of people miss, because we hear this all the time beginning of the year begins and everyone's scrambling around oh, I need to set a year-end goal. We hear that all the time. But why do most people quit even a quarter of the way? Because they didn't make processing goals.
Helen Ngyuen:So go ahead Sorry so go ahead, sorry, sorry. So the processing goals how it happens is make yourself a smaller goal each day. Yes, you have that big goal, but you need to break it down into phases now. If you're going to measure it by quarter of the year, then focus on the quarter. Where, where is that going to be and at which stage will this goal be working towards it?
Helen Ngyuen:So, traditionally, people just focus on the outcome and they never focus on the process. They don't celebrate themselves that they one took a pen and paper and start writing out things that they need to do, and each time that they check off a task do they celebrate themselves. This is part of self-motivation as well. The biggest failure in setting goals is that you don't celebrate along the way. I try and people tend to quit. Right, and that's the majority of the people. I try, mm.
Helen Ngyuen:Hmm, you know you go into a fight in the ring and you want to win the gold, but how do you get there? So, get as most, the most kicking points as you can. Don't think about winning. You think about trying your best to kick as much as you can where the target is, so that you can gain the points as you can where the target is, so that you can gain the points. So whether you win or lose, you're still ahead of that game. And then you go into a ring again. If you did lose, you can go in the ring again, you can fight again. That gives you that motivation to continue to push forward to that goal. One day that goal will happen, if you haven't achieved it yet, right. So it's more of a mindset thing than anything else, to be honest.
Sherisse Alexander:So you know most people, when they, when we're setting goals, we're looking at, okay, this is what I want to accomplish this year.
Sherisse Alexander:And so you said, okay, break it down into chunks. So I think one of the things I've identified with myself is like I don't and you pointed this out. Actually you were like okay, have you gone back to your list, like what were your goals? And, interestingly enough, I did the same thing with one of my kids, because they were getting down on themselves like, oh, I'm not doing this thing. And so I said, okay, go back to your list, let's look at it. And when he did, he was like, oh, I guess I've already like achieved all my goals. And it was like a quarter of the way through the year it was March and I was like so I guess, with that in mind, then you check back into your list and I guess what you're saying then so frequently, then every so, every day, every week, are we like writing down these things and going back to the list and making sure that we're actually making forward progress to achieving those things?
Helen Ngyuen:That's correct. You can set any timeline you'd like, however that you feel that is the most comfortable. Now, there is no set in stone, a perfect formula out there, because everybody's mind is so different how you perceive things, how you conduct your things every day. Now where you, if you were to break it down to priorities, for instance, if you prioritize the most important things first, the first three things that you're supposed to do on your list is the most three, the three most important things on your list first is the most three, the three most important things on your list first, and then you work your way down Right. So if you get into the habit of doing that daily, you will reach your goal faster, just because when you prioritize the things, that is going to advance you or whatever is important. Um, the first thing in the morning, that's when your mind is the sharpest and it's all about mental state.
Sherisse Alexander:Absolutely. When you are looking at goal setting myself personally, I find that I can overwhelm myself with a goal Because I'll go. Okay, these are my personal goals. These are my spiritual goals. These are my physical health goals. These are my money goals. You can my physical health goals. These are my money goals. You can see how my list is getting very big.
Helen Ngyuen:And then.
Sherisse Alexander:So there's those categories, and then I've got goals under each of those categories which already, as I'm saying it, I'm like I'm exhausted because I've just written down all these goals and I don't know that I'm going to be able to achieve all of these things. So what do you suggest to people in terms of like that portion of it, because I need to have a little bit of organization within this, otherwise it just feels like I'm not really. I'm not really doing anything.
Helen Ngyuen:Ben, now you're starting to talk about time blocking. Yes, well, studies have shown actually, if you were to multitask and just do a little bit, a little bit, a little bit of this, but not realistically fully focus on that task alone, you're actually not getting anywhere. So it actually causes more stress than anything else. It causes you, you know, for some people, when it's too much, a mental breakdown as well and this has been proven.
Helen Ngyuen:So if you're going to dedicate yourself, let's say, into categories like that you know, you know whether it's for work, number one. Number two is for self, and spiritually comes connected with self right, then you need to break down your timelines per day, so every day, from this time to this time, you're fully focused on this only and then now you move on to the next. That's how you would be able to stay focused and organized and actually achieving all those things, and actually you would be more efficient at doing that versus like, okay, I'm going to touch base on this for a few minutes, oh, I see something else I need to do, and then you go there and do that and then come back to this. When you're jumping back and forth like a yo-yo, like that, your mind doesn't have enough time or space to kind of like switch over. Yeah Right, so when you're in a work mode, your mind is on a different program. When you're on a self mode, your mind is also in a different program.
Sherisse Alexander:That's true. It's a different energy that you're bringing to it, and I guess I should have clarified it's not like I go through my day breaking down my goals like that. What I mean is, at the start of my goal setting process I break down those categories and what I have found, particularly this year, is I'm like you know what I don't really want to do, that thing that I thought that I wanted to do, so I'll just remove it from the list, and so let's talk a little bit about having a little bit of being open to like maybe this isn't something that I want to focus on, because I don't, and not necessarily about time, but I think it's about interest and dedication to actually fulfilling that particular goal right and being okay with that.
Helen Ngyuen:And that's the thing. You can always customize anything. I always tell people the first thing to do is to create a framework. Once you have the framework, what you put inside of it can always be put in, take out, put in, take out right. It's almost like when you build a house right, you have the framing work done. So you know that this is the area for that functions like this, for like the kitchen, for instance right. But how you decorate or how you function in that kitchen is totally you can always change it. Yeah, you like this decor one day and then the next day you want to change it. It's totally fine. So what I'm trying to say is that maybe break it down and, to see what the framework work looks like Again, tie it in with time, because time, even though it's man-made in the universe, doesn't understand time.
Helen Ngyuen:They only understand the process, right. So if you were to tie in time wise, now you have boxes to work with, so now you know what you need to work with that. So let's just say that you wanted to change your goals halfway within half the year, right, you're like? Like exactly what you're explaining. Well, I thought I have interest in this, but I don't want to do this anymore. I actually have something else that I want to replace it. You actually can, because now it goes in that box.
Sherisse Alexander:Yeah.
Helen Ngyuen:And then you just have to reevaluate and break that box down. So if you compartmentize it all like that, it's not so overwhelming, because now you know the framework.
Sherisse Alexander:Okay, I think that I mean now just doing like a mental check on on the, because some of them changed Right, and so I can think of the very big goals and those are still a work in progress. And I think that for me, part of it is is being okay with when things don't necessarily go according to plan, right, because what is it we sometimes say in this, this journey, this experience, that we're not that, the, that we're maybe not supposed to, and we're talking about goal setting. So there's a balance here, right, the when and the how. So here's the big, hairy, audacious goal. I've got this vision in my head of something I want to achieve, but I'm not supposed to necessarily get so caught up in the when or the how. So how do you balance that in the process of goal setting?
Helen Ngyuen:In the processing goal.
Sherisse Alexander:Yeah, let's talk about that.
Helen Ngyuen:So, like I said, how I was aware of the processing goal was from a really good friend of mine. She's in the martial arts world and she actually owns her own Taekwondo studio which is family-run, and she's been in that field for, oh gosh, almost 30 years now, or her entire life really Because her dad is a grandmaster and she's a master herself in it. So she actually helped me a master herself in it. So she actually helped me a lot with my son, because after my dad passed away, my son didn't really understand about certain things. He was down on himself, he didn't understand what death was and he needed a lot of help.
Helen Ngyuen:So I always say to raise a child, you need a community to raise a child right. To raise a child, you need a community to raise a child right. And what I started doing with him and what I've noticed is that, you know, the goal is obviously for him to be more confident and to do all these things, but he just doesn't know how to get there and that big goal there is scary to him because how again, you were talking about the when and the how. When is this going to happen and how I'm going to do it, but what he's missing is energy level to be there to be able to achieve it. So she talked to me about processing.
Helen Ngyuen:So every day he had to do something like just a little tiny, scary for himself, like he's a very timid boy, he's very quiet and he doesn't approach people like normally, how we would say, oh hi, going into school and being like with our friends and stuff. He always felt like a little bit of an outcast or alone. So I told him I said your biggest, your, your goal today is actually just to go out and play. Who cares if you know that person or not, just go out there and pick two people anybody, somebody you know or somebody you don't know and just say hi, that's it. That was his first task. So when he did brought up because that took a lot of courage out of him, right, yes, yeah, but he achieved that processing goal just by saying ha, mm-hmm. Now you see him take that little step. So now you work on the next processing goal.
Sherisse Alexander:Yeah.
Helen Ngyuen:So it's very similar, like as in okay, most people, they want to reach out a certain like income level, for instance. Right, but how do you get there and when is this going to happen? And this is what people struggle with. Yes, you can reverse engineer, but a lot of people have a problem or have difficulties in reverse engineering that kind of stuff. Then you have to be really good with numbers how to move things around. The majority of people aren't accountants, nor are they financial planners, right?
Helen Ngyuen:So what do you do Now? You have to look at your processing goal. What can you do in this month, Like, say, you're talking about January, In January, what can you do in January to up that income level a little bit? It could be things like you look around your house. Your processing goal is to organize your house. Why? Because you're going to find a lot of things you can sell off, Lots of things you never need, needed or used in like years, and I'm sure a lot of people listening to this will understand that. You go into your crawl space or basement. You're like that's still there and you're like I could get money for this.
Sherisse Alexander:Or you have time still on close. That's always a good sign.
Helen Ngyuen:Exactly, but that could be part of your processing goal it has nothing to do with making more money in that sense, but if your income level that year you need an extra $5,000 to $10,000 boost. First small task Reorganize your house, clean up, clean your house and then you're going to start seeing stuff because now you're aware of it. So your processing goal that that month could be like organizing my house.
Sherisse Alexander:Doesn't matter. Let's actually use this as an example, then, for the process, because people are especially seeing as there's a money podcast, and people are always talking about making more money or saving money or reducing this. It's always tied to money. So let's use this example of money in terms of okay, great, you told me to organize my house. Done, I've organized my house. What's next? What's another processing goal then?
Helen Ngyuen:So once you finish organizing your house, you're going to automatically think to yourself do I need this or do I not? So now you're going to go around and continue making a list of things that need to either be donated or sell. Now, selling an item a lot of people don't like doing because a lot of people don't like to sell. But let me tell you, marketplace is the best platform for it the best. The reason why is that it's free. It literally takes no time. You're on social media anyways and you're looking through stuff. I'm pretty sure lots of people buy stuff off of marketplace as well. It takes you literally seconds to list an item. So now, if you can gather what you do not need in your home and this is part of energy cleansing too, by the way the more stuff we hoard, the more energy is trapped. So you're going to start feeling good about yourself once you start getting rid of something.
Sherisse Alexander:That's true. I always feel great when I like de-junk. I love de-junking. I am not a hoarder by any stretch of the imagination.
Helen Ngyuen:But somebody else could use that. You don't have to list high, you just have that perspective of how much you want that item that's worth, that you think that is worth right. Somebody out there if they buy it at that price, then that's the item that's worth right. Or search online to see how much would that go for. But making these little tasks okay, you're done cleaning. You're making a list of things that you could sell. Okay, your next goal is maybe look up these items and see how much they are. Once you achieve that, you see what I'm saying.
Sherisse Alexander:Yeah.
Helen Ngyuen:Every time you achieve those little mini goals. It's a part of the process, right? Next thing you know you might not list the stuff right away, but now you can dedicate another month for that. You don't have to do it right away. You can do these little processing goals to kind of boost, add on to that income level at the end of the year. Yes, you can ask for a raise at work as well. That could be another part of the goal. Your processing goal is to ask your boss for a raise, or what can you do to add on like extra things that you can do.
Helen Ngyuen:But again, it's about the process. How do you get to that on like extra things that you can do? But again it's about the process. How do you get to that mini goal? Now that's your big goal, but it's all these little stuff that matters, because as soon as you pass that level, then you get to go to the next step and then the next step and next thing you know you reach your goal without really knowing that you did. Yeah, because you're going to look back and you're like all this stuff that I sold in my house. I'll give you an example. Since I just moved, I sold a ton of stuff in my house.
Sherisse Alexander:So this is really fresh for you.
Helen Ngyuen:Yes, and this is what I mean by is that there is money sitting inside your house? Mm, hmm, literally I sold my decor stuff, like I accumulated all this stuff, but honestly, when I sold some of that stuff, it was like $2,500. Holy shit, I know, and I was like scratching my head because I look at this stuff every day and I had it for years and it was just sitting there doing nothing. Wow, that's what I mean.
Sherisse Alexander:I would have never even thought of, although you should hear me telling people I know like you know what.
Sherisse Alexander:You should really have a garage sale, or you should really but I get why they don't want to do it, because it is a lot of work in doing all of that. So, okay. So focus on the process versus the end outcome. Don't think about that so much because that might could overwhelm you. If you're somebody who's not overwhelmed by the end goal, great, Awesome, run with that. But if you are just bite-sized little steps to get you where you're going, okay.
Sherisse Alexander:So the obvious way to define success, because there's something that you said very early in this, which was we don't celebrate enough of the milestones of the journey to the goal. So what are some other ways that we like, what are that we can celebrate the, the success within that, aside from the obvious one, which is being obviously hitting that goal? So if your goal is 10,000 extra dollars for the year and you hit that, awesome, but how else do we celebrate that? I guess you could say, in achieving the teeny, tiny little steps in the process would be one of the obvious ways little steps in the process would be one of the obvious ways.
Helen Ngyuen:So I'll give you another example of, let's say, if you're a super busy person and you've got a very high, demanding job right and you basically don't have time for yourself. I know that you should take time for yourself always, but another goal could be that you can go out and venture for like half a day for yourself. Some people might be like you know what? I just want to sit on this bench and watch the horizon. Some people just want to sit in silence because they are so bombarded. But that could be something that they desire that they can work towards as well.
Helen Ngyuen:Like I've known people who, you know, have family plan, a family vacation, but they have to hit this goal first before they can reward themselves with that. So, for an example, you want to eat healthy, you want to get healthy, you want to get fit this year. You want to eat healthy, want to get healthy, you want to get fit this year and you're not really motivated because nobody wants to to cut down. You know like and be strict on their diet and go and work out and do all this stuff because that takes an extra energy. So what they've done is okay, the family trip is okay, plan for in six months time, for instance, right. And you tell your family you're like okay, well, this is my goal, but if I don't achieve this, then there will be any family vacation. So guess what your family does?
Helen Ngyuen:they really motivate you they will motivate you, they will cheer you on, they will correct you as soon as you pick up a donut. You're like no, put that down right now. So now you have other people really invested in your goal exactly, so you can be very creative with these things, you know what I mean.
Sherisse Alexander:That's actually a really great idea.
Helen Ngyuen:That's a really great idea right yeah and like if you were to like say you want to buy an item, for instance, like, as females, we got lots of stuff we want to buy yeah, we're not like men, you know. It's like, oh, you don't need this and this, and maybe you want to buy this lip gloss. That is like triple the price that you, what you normally would pay for, yeah, right, but it's like luxurious, it makes you feel good, you know. You put it on and you're just like. You feel like a million bucks, you know what I mean. But you're feeling like, okay, I don't deserve this, right, because it's like number one, it's triple the price.
Helen Ngyuen:And then you're thinking to yourself, well, I haven't done anything extra to be able to deserve it yeah, yeah so plan it out, being like okay, if I hit this stage, let's say the third stage of this month, so in this month, this is my goal is to like again reorganize my house by this date, like, say, half the month if half of my house is not organized yet, I'm not there yet, but as soon as that month comes and being like, okay, that's how you would gauge, right. Finally, you've reorganized your whole house 22,000 square feet, whatever, 1500 square feet house. Okay, you reorganize everything. Took you a whole month to do it. Once you finish that, reward yourself. Go and buy that Lachecherius lip gloss if you want to. It can be any kind of reward. To be honest, for some people it's really weird. They'll be like well, honestly, I just want a box of donuts. I'm like then have a box of donuts and don't feel guilty about eating it because it's a reward yes, exactly you know,
Sherisse Alexander:what a different way of thinking about it, because you know there's obvious rewards, like when they're it's weight loss right. It's like okay, when I get to like I've lost 10 pounds, I'm totally gonna go and buy like that shirt because I just needed to lose 10 pounds. So those ones are obvious. But these are definitely creative ways to like loop people into like keeping you accountable, because that's often the toughest part is like how do I keep if you're not somebody who can hold yourself accountable and be really disciplined? And, let's face it, there's a lot of distractions on a daily basis. There's a lot, exactly. So what a great way to loop people into the plan like no vacation if mom doesn't lose the weight.
Helen Ngyuen:As soon as you pick up a donut, let me tell you Someone comes flying across the room to like bat it out of here.
Sherisse Alexander:There's a whole visual of that.
Helen Ngyuen:But it makes it extra fun for you?
Sherisse Alexander:Yeah, it does you know what I mean.
Helen Ngyuen:It's like you're running a marathon here and you need your teammates. You know, it's true, it's not just by yourself anymore, so these goals can be very small, but it can be actually very enjoyable. Because a lot of people when they think of oh I gonna, I gotta set my goal. Because? Why do they feel like that? Because majority of the time people quit in the first quarter.
Helen Ngyuen:Yeah first quarter of the year they just go off path and the next thing you know they're so far gone that they're like ah, screw it, I'll just make new goals next year yeah, the new year is coming, I'll just make gold next year.
Sherisse Alexander:We're halfway through the year oh and then, and then.
Helen Ngyuen:The cycle goes over and over again. Yeah, so this is a non-scary way where it can give you clarity, because I think that a lot of people don't have enough of that clarity to be able to move forward with that. So I always say the process is probably more important than the outcome itself, because if you focus on the process all the time and you're achieving this, I'm telling you right now, you might surpass that goal by the end of the year, your goal might change.
Sherisse Alexander:Like you said, yeah, and I mean I think that's definitely when we were so, one of the goals that we had set was the podcast. So, yay, I achieved one. But I remember you saying, okay, focus on the process. Like, just focus on the process. And then here it is.
Sherisse Alexander:So the process, focusing on the process was great because the goal itself and I remember calling you and saying like I'm feeling really overwhelmed, I just don't even want to do this anymore, because I was even overthinking the podcast itself, because then it was like everything after it, it was like the websites and social media and all this, and I was like, wait a minute, none of that was the goal. Like I'm like way past the goal. So I'm just going to rewind and focus on what the actual goal was and rewind even more and focus on the process of getting to what the actual goal is, which is launching the podcast. So the process of that particular achievement of goal worked really, really well for me. So then, what do you suggest for the procrastinators? I admit I do can have a case of procrastinating. So what do you do to overcome procrastination?
Helen Ngyuen:to overcome procrastination. So we have a built-in procrastinating. We all procrastinate all the time. And to overcome procrastination is actually, you know, holding yourself accountable in a way where you actually see it instead of avoiding it. Now, a lot of people are huge avoiders. They suffer from avoidance quite often. So when I say that, I don't mean it in a way where you know they don't see the obvious or, like you know, they're not smart enough to see it. It's, it's part of our minds how it protects itself. We suffer from things like loss. There's other things like trauma.
Helen Ngyuen:You know that comes into play as well and you'll know that too. And you'll see that in a lot of people who does procrastinate, majority of the time is because one of those two things that they haven't dealt with as well, and as it accumulates, their main shut off valve in terms of your mind, it just shuts off automatically. So that's pattern, so procrastination. Like a lot of people um also are in denial that they procrastinate because now you're pointing out something's wrong with them, but the truth is that actually the underlining of procrastination is actually deeper than that. So to overcome it, first you have to recognize that you do procrastinate and, number two, you have to understand. How long do you procrastinate Like? Give yourself a challenge, give yourself a hard task and measure out how long will it take you to do it.
Sherisse Alexander:How long does it take you to get started, or how long does it take you to actually complete the task?
Helen Ngyuen:Complete the task.
Sherisse Alexander:Okay.
Helen Ngyuen:Nevermind about getting started completing the task, because some people they will jump in it right away, get it done off their list. There's some people who has a long laundry of the list and nothing ever gets done. And again, it's about prioritizing those, those categories, so that you're able to tackle and this is what I always say, to break things down out of that list what are the top three. That is the most important. Tackle those first. The rest can wait.
Sherisse Alexander:I think just to sorry touch on your list piece there, like realistically, for people who like lists, how long should you like in look? Because I've often when I write my list they get really, really long. But realistically, how much can we mentally digest when we're writing a list?
Helen Ngyuen:Well, you can't mentally digest like a list of 20 items. I always say as long as it's under 10.
Sherisse Alexander:Okay.
Helen Ngyuen:You can always add on afterwards, you can make multiple lists, not just one, but if you're thinking about just for today, what needs to be done today, so I always say, just write out everything that you think you need to do today. Okay, now re-look at the list. Now pick your top three. So if you can pick your top three out of that long laundry list of yours, right, that's what you're going to tackle today.
Sherisse Alexander:You know, I have long lists. Oh, I know, you know what I have long lists too.
Helen Ngyuen:but, being realistic, how much of that list can you accomplish actually being efficient with it? So you know it's not like putting like you know. Oh, how much of that list can you accomplish actually being efficient with it, though, you know it's not like putting, like you know, oh, I need to do this, but I can only do it halfway, and then I go to the next one and do it halfway and do the next one. No, you have to fully complete that task. So pick the top three. I always say you can have a master list. Pick the top three that you can do today and then, if you're done, you can pick an extra one or two or three yeah.
Sherisse Alexander:What do you recommend, though? Right, because I've definitely tried that with the. You know, having the list of 20 or 30 things, and a lot of the challenge with my list is like it's not a task that I can do by myself. So I'm often like I'll do a task that I can do by myself. So I'm often like I'll do something and then I'm waiting for somebody. But the point is it's like what do you recommend in terms of like keeping track, because I find that a lot of people it's like there's journals, there's notebooks, there's their phone, there's messaging themselves, there's Trello, there's Slack, there's this like what do you think is? What do you use?
Helen Ngyuen:there's Trello, there's Slack, there's this like what do you think is? What do you use For myself? I love Post-it.
Sherisse Alexander:Notes Post-it.
Helen Ngyuen:Notes have. I showed you my board. Let me show you my board.
Sherisse Alexander:Oh, Post-it Notes. Oh, I love it, and it's so pretty and organized.
Helen Ngyuen:What a nice organized to-do list and it's so pretty, it's colorful, so for me I like exactly like you said, I have to be able to move things around.
Sherisse Alexander:True, very true.
Helen Ngyuen:Because, again, having multiple duties or roles, you have to be able to organize it in a way where you can look at it at a glance. So, however, most people are visual. So, if you work in an office space, for me I like to have like a blackboard or whiteboard or whatever. Yes, I write on it, but what stands out to me is post-it notes, so I categorize it in box. Again, that's just how my mind works. You have to find your niche. How do you like to see things? Do you like the visual aspect of it or do you like the listening?
Sherisse Alexander:I like visual.
Helen Ngyuen:Visual. Most people are visual, so I like to look at my board and I can identify everything right away I need a whiteboard yeah, once it's done, I just take that post-it note and I chuck it in the garbage. The task is done, I don't need to think about it anymore how good does that feel when you pull it off the whiteboard? Oh, it feels real good, it's like checking it off yeah, I throw it in the garbage.
Helen Ngyuen:It's already done, I don't need to re-look at that again, right? So, however you want to do it, find your niche. Find what works for you Not what works for everyone else, but for you. If you're a visual person, like I am. Post-it notes are great, because I buy them all different sizes. I saw I have lots See's. There's one I've got like bags of this wow like seriously extra, extra post-it notes.
Helen Ngyuen:I have small ones. I have little sticker thingies and I stick on my board. I know that people are like but it's a blackboard, you can write on it. Yeah, it's great to on, but there's something about writing on a post-it note and sticking it there because you know that belongs there. Oh wait, I need to move this to this area now and I can move it Instead of wipe and then rewrite everything.
Sherisse Alexander:That's exactly the problem with the whiteboard, Because I have whiteboard in my office and I really and I put the things that are very important and I need to remember to deal with on my whiteboard. So I just glance over but, as you said, I gotta go and wipe it off and then I gotta rewrite it I gotta move things around.
Sherisse Alexander:So what occurred to me was actually maybe even a magnetic whiteboard so that I can move things around very easily. So, okay, so this is a great segue into because we're talking about being visual, visualization and mindset. So a lot of people at the beginning of the year will do a vision board. So how important is visualization and mindset in achieving goals.
Helen Ngyuen:Well, I always say you can think of it, but can you see it? When you can start seeing it, that means it's coming new. So it works the same way as manifestation.
Sherisse Alexander:Yeah.
Helen Ngyuen:Right, if you can think it, you know there's a possibility that it can become reality, right, but you can't quite see it yet. But as you move along during the process now the lines are becoming more clear. You know this visual thing that you now you might just have the outline of it and then comes in a little bit of shading, the darks and the lights, and then it comes into color. So, again, your mental focus in terms of visual is very important, because once you start seeing it, then you know that it's near, that it's going to become reality very, very close. But so I always say you know you got to practice that and that's why having something like what you just saw my, my crazy board it actually, it's actually cleaned up right now. You should see it before. It was sticking outside of the board because I had no more space, you know. But as as closely as you can get, you can narrow down, you can actually see it happening. So people utilize, like you said, a vision board. Why are vision boards exercises? You might not achieve everything on your vision board, but what it has given you is the possibility of having that vision, right? Yes, so once there's a possibility, then things can come into fruition.
Helen Ngyuen:Otherwise, if you can't see it, you're not there. So always check in with yourself, quarterly or even monthly. Some people do monthly, some people do quarterly. What do you see now? Do you see this happening? What does it look like? So I'll give you another example that has nothing to do with money or work, but people wanting to have children. Can you see it? How are you going to work towards it? What is the baby going to look like? How is the baby going to feel? You have to have that vision so that your body can prepare itself to actually carry a child. If you're a female.
Sherisse Alexander:Well, isn't that what you know? If we talk about Joe Dispenza for a minute, it's like when he's saying you know, talking about stepping into your new life, and like really, it's like raising your vibration, like tricking your body into thinking that it's already happened. Right, because that's what often is talked about with manifestation. Like, great, you can think it, great you can see it, but you can't actually trick your body into anything unless you experience all the feelings that go along with it. So you know you use having a baby as an example. You know, can you feel the weight of the baby? Can you smell what a newborn smells like? Can you see yourself carrying a baby like in utero? Can you hear the baby crying? Like all of those, and then the gratitude and the love that you feel with actually now having this like, can you put yourself there? And that is how you tie it all into manifestation, right.
Helen Ngyuen:Yes, that is correct, but if you look at goal setting and achieving your goals and manifesting very similar Absolutely. There's a lot Very similar?
Sherisse Alexander:Yep, absolutely. So let's talk about the challenges. We've got a couple of minutes left here, so let's talk about to wrap up. Let's talk about when you hit a challenge and you were tempted to like put the goal down, not like me. Where I was, like I just realized that really wasn't what I wanted to do, so I left.
Sherisse Alexander:I took that goal off the list. Now you hit a major. Doesn't even have to be major, just something that makes you reconsider like am I supposed to be doing this? Should I continue on this path, with this goal? Now what?
Helen Ngyuen:Well, there are a few things that are key that you can look out for. Number one does it feel right? Because if it doesn't feel right, everything you're doing it's like giving you that resistance, but then you're not happy doing it. So, realistically, is that something you really want anymore? At the time of setting that goal, it sounds great, but as we grow and evolve as well, and as your path opens up a little bit more in terms of your work or family or personal life, your goals do change.
Sherisse Alexander:Because you're changing.
Helen Ngyuen:You're changing, because if it doesn't feel right anymore, maybe it's not right for you anymore. Maybe there's something else out there that you're supposed to achieve. So always be open-minded. I always say goal setting should not be fixed. It should be very flexible. It should grow with you as you become. That's where you should be. So I always say listen to your gut instinct. If that goal doesn't seem like it's something you want anymore, it's okay. It doesn't mean that you failed at it. It only means that there's a bigger goal out there that you're supposed to achieve. Yeah, and you're going to learn this along the way, and and the most thing that I always say, too, is that you know you learn more about yourself than your role you really do.
Sherisse Alexander:Yeah, I guess so, Cause it's the journey right, and especially if you're breaking it down, not just so focused on the outcome, but actually when you break it down in terms of the process and you're going to have challenges along the way. But I think it's how do we? The trick is how we navigate the challenges right. That that's where the learning is, that's where the juiciness is of the experience.
Helen Ngyuen:Exactly Like yourself, charisse. Like in the beginning, your goals are totally different than they are now. There's a lot of stuff that you eliminated, but that was okay, because you've had 100 goals in mind.
Sherisse Alexander:Yeah, and I think even within that you're right, there are some goals that I eliminated, but I think even within that, it's like some goals became so much more clear and the path to it and and when I say the path to it I don't mean exactly from here to here to here, like the actual connecting the dots, but I just mean it brought the goal, the overall object, like the achieving of the goal, so much clearer into focus.
Sherisse Alexander:And, interestingly enough, what also happened in that is some surrender. Right, it's like really learning to trust the process, which has been tricky. It's really tough to say, okay, I'm just going to surrender into this process and be okay with not having to always push that very masculine energy of drive, drive, drive. I find myself saying a lot more I'm going to put a pin in this, I'm just going to give this a little bit of space, let it unfold a little bit, and then I'll make a decision when something has a little bit of space to like, and that is that's really been a journey. So that's actually what I've learned and enjoyed the most this year is learning how to take a step back, put a pin in something and giving it some time to unfold on its own. So I think that's probably the one, one of the biggest achievements for this year. It wasn't even on the list, it didn't even make the list.
Helen Ngyuen:But you've learned a lot from it because of your growth. So, like they always say, if you're not growing, you're dying right. So we always have to evolve, and that's why I?
Helen Ngyuen:always said you know goals. Your goals should not be fixed. It should be flexible. When I say that doesn't mean that you can just be like a yo-yo, Okay. What I mean is that you know that big goal could be like okay, well, you know, I want to buy a new house this end of this year, for instance, right, but you're at $0. So, as you work towards it, yes, have that big, audacious goal doesn't mean it has to change, but it, you know you're thinking you want this big, massive house is your very first house to buy. Buy because everybody wants to buy like a brand new big house, right, and all that stuff. But along the way you started to learn that the cost of going into buying a house like that, it might not be realistic. Yeah, now you're changing your goal. I am still going to buy a home, but it's not going to be this big house that you thought you were going to buy. Maybe you're going to start off with this house first.
Sherisse Alexander:And then all of a sudden.
Helen Ngyuen:All of a sudden, you're just like, okay, I just found out that I should just live in it for two years and then collect some money, down payment another house and rent this one out. Now my goal is to build a portfolio, not just buying a house to live in.
Sherisse Alexander:Look at how beautifully that evolved right. So that's a beautiful example of how you can be really adaptable and not be so rigid in what that. That's why we what did I say to you right? The how and the when. Because if the goal was very much focused on the five or 10,000 square foot house and you got really focused on the how and when, then you would have missed all of that in between of like something so much bigger, so much bigger than one house, exactly, yeah, exactly.
Helen Ngyuen:So this is actually preparing you for like decades to come. You're setting yourself up.
Sherisse Alexander:Yep, absolutely.
Helen Ngyuen:So that's what I mean by to be flexible and not to be so fixed.
Sherisse Alexander:That's a great analogy, actually, because that's like the devil is in the details. You might really miss that if you were so focused on that big, big goal.
Helen Ngyuen:Yeah, Exactly so. You wouldn't be able to see that bigger picture, and you might get yourself in trouble too by achieving that goal able to see that bigger picture and you might get yourself in trouble too by achieving that goal.
Helen Ngyuen:Again, it's part of the process, right? So, as soon as you can, can be flexible with your goals like that. Um, it's still the same goal of having it, buying a new property, but it doesn't have to be that big of size of property, right? Yeah, and just because you didn't buy a big size of property that you failed your goal? It's not the truth.
Sherisse Alexander:Absolutely so. In closing, do you have a goal for 2025 that you would like to maybe share here very publicly?
Helen Ngyuen:Well, I haven't sat down and really think about 2025 yet. 2024 has been a major challenge lots of personal changes, even living space, everything I felt like my life was being kind of like torn apart and putting back together kind of thing and having to deal with all of that. But I do have a sense where 2025, the goals are very much more like family. I think focusing more on my family or my family and building is going to be big, uh, big goal for next year. I think that's going to change a lot of things as well. That's just my personal goal work-wise, you know, obviously I want to be better than last year. The year before that, I want to be able to, like, expand a little bit more, um, but I will work on it probably in the next month or so, because November is literally around the corner.
Sherisse Alexander:Yeah, it's tomorrow.
Helen Ngyuen:I know I know, don't remind me, but this is where I mean by. Sometimes I just want time to slow down just a little bit because I need a breather, you know. But I'm working on that and I am going to work on, like I said, you know, working on more on the processing goal than the big goal itself. I know I'll get there, but again it's that visualization, having to go into it and seeing what it looks like, what it feels like, what it sounds like, what it's like. Yeah, the weird thing is people can't connect taste to other than food Taste is tricky.
Sherisse Alexander:Taste is very tricky. It's tricky.
Helen Ngyuen:But if you can get there, anything is possible.
Sherisse Alexander:I'm trying. I am so trying. I think I've nailed all of them, except for taste. Taste is tough. It's really really except for taste. Taste is tough. It's really really really tough, it's tough. But that's okay. I guess that can be a goal for 2025 for me. Where can listeners learn more about you and your work and find you? Where can people find you easiest?
Helen Ngyuen:Let's put it like that Well, I am on social media. I am currently right now building a website for my business and stuff, and but you can still follow me on Facebook, which is Helen Nguyen N-G-U-Y-E-N. N-g-u-y-e-n. Or on instagram, is helenn111 um, and shoot me a message and I can keep you updated on the things that I'm working on, and a lot of um valuable contents will be coming out soon as well. So if you're somebody who's just sitting in silence and suffering in silence, just know that there is help out there. There are tons of resources that you can access as well, which I'll be providing on some of my platforms that's being created right now.
Sherisse Alexander:So, that's exciting. I cannot wait to hear more. I'm very excited. So thank you. Thank you again, as always, for coming and joining me and sharing your tips and tricks and tidbits. I have found immense value in working with you, so I wanted to give you a very sincere, heartfelt thank you.
Helen Ngyuen:No, well, you're very welcome and thank you for having me in on your podcast.
Sherisse Alexander:it's an honor always, don't worry, helen will be back. I've got like her.
Sherisse Alexander:I've got her slotted in like many times thank you for joining me and Helen today as we talked about goal setting and keeping ourselves accountable, checking back and really being okay with, you know, changing the goals if you determine that that's not something that really resonates with you any longer. So if you enjoyed today's content, please continue to subscribe, listen and download and, as always, if you have any questions or episode ideas, please feel free to message me or email me at Cherise at your collectiveca. That's S-H-E-R-I-S-S-E at your collectiveca and until next time, please take care of yourself.